Personality symptoms, or personal syndromes.

 

Personality symptoms, or personal syndromes.

Who are called troublesome people, there are many invoice for it that one can through a surveys and discussion with my friends and find what makes the person to be troublesome also stubborn.

1- The violence was during childhood, All unfortunate events that happened to a person during his childhood will become part of his personality in the future.

 If a person has been treated with violence, they will become a destructive character in the future.

2- the violence through families, environment and etc. Personal aggression.

3 - if the person is a refugee and has a poor family and his, her family needs money it can also affect the person in different ways to be troublesome what happened yesterday could be the two facts that I have written about above..

4- the sociopaths do the same things that the person did yesterday or can deal with drugs, the person does not have enough money to buy their drug for their needs, it can also make the person difficult and stubborn.

5- the people who live in religious countries cannot be pyschic healthy healthy. Because there are several violent facts that I can tell you about.

1- If the children would not pray, they can be beaten by the family, by the school. A child is beaten for not praying or not going to Koran class.

2- Currently, children are raped in Koranic classes and children are subjected to violence in Islamic countries.

3- We must not forget that violence begets violence.

4- This person has a lack of family affection and was discriminated by his parents, and today he has become stubborn and aggressive. he has a lack of respect, a thing to the person was treated violently by his family or schools environment. There is another thing called childishness. Some people their body grows, but their brain never grows. In the Middle East there is violence against children because many people are stubborn, violent, they steal they take drugs they do everything, but they say they are Muslims.

They cannot respect what today this country gave him, her. when there is violence against children, then when the children grow up normal he or she becomes violent.

Part 2 facts about behavior changes.

1- What are the different personality disorders?

Psychiatric patients or mental retardation.

Mental deficiencies.

The person may also find it difficult to cope with things they used to do, such as going to work, cooking or cleaning. Sometimes the sick person himself feels that something is wrong, but sometimes the person may have difficulty understanding it himself. It is common for it to be difficult in different periods, and the problems often change over time.

How do you know if someone is mentally ill?

Symptoms of mental illness can be that you see and hear things that no one else does, that you feel sad, worried, lonely, have difficulty sleeping and feel bad for a long time. All people can feel mentally ill and it can vary over the course of life. It can be good, so-so and bad. A mentally ill or a mentally ill person is clearly visible and everyone can see the person's behavior.

How do you view people with mental illness?

How should people with mental illness be treated?

Confirm the psychological well-being. It is important that you show the person that you want to understand and that you take the time to listen. ...

Show that the person's feelings are justified. ...

Strive to be non-judgmental. ...

Avoid yes and no questions. ...

Show confidence that the person is doing everything he can.

What are the most common symptoms of mental illness?

What is mental health? — The Public Health Authority

Mental illness can be anything from temporary problems of anxiety, depression or sleep problems to more severe mental illnesses such as anxiety or depression. What characterizes mental illness is that it affects well-being and how one functions in everyday life.

I have another theory called culture syndrome or culture symptoms.

How do you know about mental illness? She, he is tired of everything or can does not feel humiliated and is not worth anymore.

How do you know if you are mentally ill?

Most people who are judged to have a serious mental disorder have psychotic symptoms with, for example, delusions, thought disorders, hallucinations or confusion. It can sometimes also involve people with other types of mental disorder with severe compulsiveness or recurrent psychotic episodes.

What is it that makes a person feel mentally ill?

There are many factors that affect our mental health. Stress is one of them, sadness, crisis, worry, fatigue or anger are some others. Sometimes it's hard to know why you feel bad. Perhaps you experience a feeling of emptiness, meaninglessness or inexplicable depression.

difficult people and deal with.

How is mental illness diagnosed?

How is mental illness diagnosed? With examples and statistics...

During an examination, the registered doctor investigates the individual's needs using a standardized questionnaire that consists of questions based on the individual's life situation and reason for seeking care. In the investigation, other diseases are also ruled out through, for example, blood tests.

How does a depressed person behave?

Some of the most common symptoms of being depressed are fatigue, lack of interest, low mood, feelings of guilt and trouble sleeping. Our doctors and psychologists can help you digitally with assessment, therapy and prescription renewal of antidepressants.

How should people who are mentally ill be treated?

Summary

Take your concerns seriously and look for an opportunity to talk to the person who seems unwell. ...

Be prepared that what you will hear may feel uncomfortable, but that it is normal to feel that way. ...

Help the person normalize the feelings. ...

Take steps to finally ask about suicidal thoughts.

How do you talk to a psychotic person?

If you are worried about your loved one, discuss it with them in a friendly, open and non-judgmental way. Tell them you are concerned and want to help. It is important that you let your loved one talk about their experiences and thoughts in their own way. You can ask how she feels and how long she has felt that way.

What characterizes a person with mental health?

Mental well-being is about being able to balance positive and negative emotions, feeling satisfaction with life, feeling meaning in life, having good social relationships, commitment, and developing and achieving one's potential. It is also about being able to feel pleasure, desire and happiness.

ICD-10 defines eight different personality syndromes, specific criteria are published in a special research version of ICD-10:

Paranoid.

Schizoid.

Antisocial.

Emotionally unstable (borderline or impulsive form)

Histrionic.

Anankastic (compulsive)

Avoidance.

Non-independent.

You are often impulsive, for example wasteful with money, or careless in traffic. Self-injurious behavior and suicidal acts, and difficulty controlling aggression, are common. You often have an uncertain image of yourself and your identity. One experiences a constant feeling of emptiness and unreality.

2- What are EIPS symptoms?

People diagnosed with Emotionally Instable Personality Syndrome (EIPS) are characterized by unstable relationships, impulsivity, unstable self-image and strong and frequent emotional swings that can be difficult to predict. Self-injurious behavior and suicidal acts are common in association with EIPS.

What is the most common Personality Disorder?

The most common personality disorder is paranoid, followed by schizoid and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

3- How does a person with a personality disorder behave?

Self-injurious behavior and suicidal acts, and difficulty controlling aggression, are common. You often have an uncertain image of yourself and your identity. One experiences a constant feeling of emptiness and unreality. Sometimes you can become excessively suspicious of others or get feelings of unreality.

4- What is the difference between signs and symptoms?

A symptom is a manifestation of disease that is apparent to the patient himself, while a sign is a manifestation of disease that the physician perceives. The sign is objective evidence of illness; a symptom, subjective. Symptoms represent the patient's complaints, and if they are serious, they drive him to the doctor's office.

5- What are the first signs of dementia?

Incipient dementia.

It is common for the memory to begin to fail; the sufferer increasingly forgets where he put things and what he did during the day. It can be difficult to plan and organize your everyday life. Stress resistance becomes less when the ability to think also deteriorates. Depression is also common at the beginning.

How does schizophrenia start?

What are the most common symptoms of mental illness?

What is mental health? — The Public Health Authority

Mental illness can be anything from temporary problems of anxiety, depression or sleep problems to more severe mental illnesses such as anxiety or depression. What characterizes mental illness is that it affects well-being and how one functions in everyday life

Behavioral changes so suddenly.

It is a big challenge to meet people with changed behavior and with psychological symptoms of dementia. Here are suggestions on how to respond and behave in the event of various symptoms of the disease.

 

Anger

Aggressive behavior may appear suddenly for no apparent reason or may be the result of a frustrating situation. It can be expressed both physically with e.g. pushing and punching and verbally with shouting and profanity. Whatever the reason, we should try to understand why a person becomes angry or upset.

 

Is the person tired because he/she did not rest or sleep enough?

Is it the side effect of medications that cause aggressiveness?

Can't the person communicate if he or she is in pain?

Is the person overstimulated by loud noises, noisy environments or disorder?

Does the person feel lost?

Are you asking too many questions or making too many claims?

Are your instructions simple and easy to understand?

Does the person take in your stress and irritation?

Are you negative and critical?

Tip! Try to identify the immediate cause. What happened just before the reaction triggered the behavior? Focus on the feeling not the facts? Don't concentrate on specific details, but look at the person's feelings behind the words.

 

Don't get angry or upset. Don't take angry behavior personally. The person may not necessarily be mad at you. Be positive, encouraging, speak slowly and reassuringly.

 

Examine the environment and adapt it to avoid similar situations. Try calm activities, e.g. music, massage, or gymnastics to reduce the problem. Maybe you can leave the person alone for a while.

 

Repetition

A person with dementia may do or say things over and over again. In most cases, he or she is looking for security, well-being and closeness.

Tip!

Search for a reason for the repetitions. Instead of focusing on what the person does, think about how he or she feels.

 

From action to meaningful activity. If a person runs their hand back and forth across the table, take out a cloth and ask for help to wipe the table. You can also ask for help to remove the dust from an article of clothing if a person often runs his hand over tablecloths, furniture or clothes.

 

Calm the person with a soft voice and light touch. Give the answer he or she is looking for, even if you have to repeat the answer several times. The person may be bored and need something to do. Give structure and engage the person in a pleasant occupation.

 

If the person asks the same things over and over again, make it easier for her or him in everyday life. Make it easier to remember with notes, clock, calendar and photos.

 

 

 

Confusion

A person with dementia may not recognize family members, places or things. The person with dementia may no longer understand how to use a pen or fork. These situations can be difficult to handle and require a lot of patience and understanding.

 

Tip!

Try to be calm. Even if you are called by the wrong name or not recognized which is painful try not to show that you are hurt.

 

Give simple explanations. Do not make a long reasoning, but simplify as much as possible. Display photographs and other things that remind you of people and places.

 

Offer help by asking instead of correcting the person, e.g. try saying "I thought it was a knife" or "I think she's your granddaughter". Remember that dementia is the cause of forgetfulness. Your support and encouragement make everyday life easier.

 

Suspicion

Memory loss and confusion can cause people to misperceive things. People with dementia can sometimes become suspicious of those around them and accuse them of theft, infidelity or other things. It can also happen that the person misinterprets what he sees and hears.

Tip!

Try to think of giving simple answers without long explanations or reasoning. Focus on something else like asking for help with a chore.

 

Listen to what concerns the person and try to understand his/her reality. Make sure the person understands that you care.

 

Do not argue or try to convince. Let the person express their opinions. Confirm his or her opinion

 

If a person is often looking for their wallet or purse, it can be good to have a double set to make everyday life easier

 

Concern

A person with dementia may feel anxious or agitated and may need to move around to counteract the restlessness. Often the person does not recognize himself in his own home, but is constantly on his way home. This can make the person feel insecure and constantly follow a staff member.

 

Tip!

Try to find out what is causing the anxiety. Let the person know that you are there for him or her. Engage the person in something that diverts anxiety, such as art, music or walking.

 

Create a safe environment that is calm and harmonious. Avoid many people and loud noises.

Part 2

You have a troublesome colleague/boss

Are there "difficult people"? There are several books on how to deal with "difficult people." They are usually laid out so that they describe a number of different types, such as e.g. "The Chariot," "The Steamroller," "The Quarrel," "The Wanderer," and "The Detective." Many people are uncomfortable with using such labels, yet sometimes you recognize the personal descriptions all too well.

 

Our everyday experience tells us that there are people who have a way of being that is very annoying not only to oneself but also to many others. What is unpleasant about using labels of the above kind is that they can lead us to stop at a conclusion that someone is troublesome and hopeless.

 

If you settle for descriptions of people as a bunch of annoying characteristics, you can become blind to the fact that all these characteristics have a background. Sometimes in this background you can find contexts, conditions and causes that can be worked with to achieve changes. People are not the sum of their qualities, people are the way they are because they see themselves and the world in a certain way, because they had certain experiences earlier in life, because they are afraid of certain things happening, etc.

 

If you keep in mind that there are always reasons why people are the way they are, you are not so easily satisfied with simply disliking them and avoiding dealing with them. One can then use certain labels on typical behaviors and attitudes as aids to put into words the problematic sides of the collaboration with certain people in order to find ways of dealing with these sides that work more satisfactorily than so far.

 

What can be done?

It is generally difficult or impossible to change the personality of other people. Certain personality traits are so deeply ingrained that they can hardly be shaken. So what can be done if you have to cooperate with people who behave in a frustrating way? There are two main strategies:

 

1.      Work on your way of reacting to the frustrating behaviors so that they don't annoy you as much.

2. Gain greater insight into the background of the behaviors and develop strategies such as:

(a) reduces the negative consequences

(b) reduces the strength of the behaviors

(c) reduces the number of times you are exposed to the frustrating behaviors.

 

The behaviors described and discussed below are a selection of behaviors that many in our culture find troublesome. There are, of course, other behaviors than these that can be experienced as troublesome. It is also important to keep in mind that one's own personality plays a large role in determining what is awkward and what is not.

 

"Awkward behaviours" can give rise to irritation and, in the worst case, to a deep dislike for someone. If you, as an employee of the somewhat tricky person, allow yourself to be completely controlled by what you feel, the risk is high that the situation will turn into a malignant conflict. What you feel and think should not be swept under the rug, but it is rarely wise to let your emotions completely take over control of how you behave. Even troublesome people have the right to be treated decently, which does not prevent confronting them with the negative consequences of their behavior.

 

Different difficulties and how to deal with them

The descriptions and advice below have borrowed heavily from Robert Bramson's books (see bibliography). These books are highly recommended, despite being written in a very American style and using pop labels. The advice Bramson gives is generally both wise and rooted in good ethics.

 

 

COLD HOSTILITY

 

One of the very worst situations you can find yourself in at a workplace is if your boss or an important colleague shows strong hostility. Sometimes it is about people who from time to time can be relatively nice and human, but who completely unpredictably become hostile, sharp, critical and cold in an unreasonable way. It is impossible to reach them and no matter what you do to build a positive relationship with them, it has no effect. Often you notice through various comments they make that they seem to lack compassion and empathy.

 

People who exhibit this kind of behavior are out of touch with what is going on inside other people. Other people's feelings mean nothing to them and they do not notice the effects of their own behavior. The hostility will, among other things, out of a need to keep distance and exercise control over the outside world.

 

Particularly vulnerable

Those who have a pronounced need for social contacts, appreciation and warmth naturally suffer extra from having bosses or co-workers who are unreachable, aloof and unpredictably hostile. If you pride yourself on being a person who easily gets in touch with others and who is easy to work with, it can be extra difficult to end up in a situation where no effort yields results. For those who suffer badly from hostile behaviour, it can be important to take a close look at their own needs and think about how to get them satisfied.

 

Strategies

People who show an attitude of cold hostility for a long time in most cases have a personality structure that cannot be changed in the blink of an eye. It is therefore wise not to invest too much hope and energy in them becoming different. It is most healthy for yourself if you recognize that your colleague has and will continue to have unpredictable swings in his attitude. Whenever the hostility shows up, you should remind yourself that it has more to do with the other person's heart than with you and how you behave. It may be wise to give up the notion of creating an open and warm relationship, if you have one. The best thing you can do is be friendly and correct, wave off the unpleasantness and keep a certain distance.

If your boss is the hostile person, you should seriously question whether it is healthy for you to remain in the workplace. Listen to your inner signals and make sure you leave the workplace on time if you notice that the hostility makes you feel bad. If you decide to stay, you must concentrate your efforts on both working on your own reactions and developing strategies that give you the best possible protection against enemy attacks.

 

 

OPEN AGGRESSIVENESS

 

This is about people who are openly and unrestrainedly aggressive. The openly aggressive have tantrums, scold their co-workers, insult and drive over recklessly. Robert Bramson (1986) describes two different types of overtly aggressive people. The first type (in Bramson's book they are called "Tanks") are constantly aggressive. They are domineering, intimidating, highly critical, abusive and brutal. They have no inhibitions about going to direct personal attacks. The other type (called "Trampminors" in Bramson's book) are people who sometimes have uncontrolled outbursts of anger, but who can be reasonable between outbursts. During the outbursts, which can come suddenly, the person loses himself in his emotions and loses all reasonable proportions.

 

If you are dealing with a colleague or manager who is choleric, aggressive and/or highly insulting, it may be wise to first get a picture of the reasons for the aggressiveness. There are various possibilities, for example:

- Those who have a genuine choleric temperament: when they encounter opposition, strong anger arises in them, quite simply, and this anger must be given vent in order not to explode.

- Those who believe that the only way to get others to work properly is to exert heavy pressure on them. They don't seem to have access to any other way to make the work work other than barking and scaring.

- Those who enjoy the sense of power and stimulation they feel when they manage to make other people upset and afraid, or get others to obey and do things.

- Those who fulfill their need for attention by teasing others so that they "get started": there will be arguments and strong feelings.

 

If your colleague belongs to the latter two groups, he or she is using you to satisfy his or her own personal needs. This is not the case with someone who has a choleric temperament, where the outbursts of anger are there for the choleric to de-react. Many cholerics have very little contact with the pain they cause others. For these people, it is usually true that they have no intention of harming others, they just do not notice or care about the effects on others of their aggressive behavior. Those who are aggressive to satisfy their own needs for stimulation and attention are instead very aware of the effect their aggressiveness has, it is precisely this effect they want.

 

 

Particularly vulnerable

Some find it insanely unpleasant when others have tantrums, others shrug their shoulders and carry on as usual. Fear of conflict, weak self-confidence and lack of training in defending one's own boundaries make room for great vulnerability to aggressiveness. You can do something about all of this. When dealing with choleric people, you can often achieve great improvements in your own frustration by simply getting used to taking your anger personally.

 

Strategies you can try

The strategies against aggressive behavior should have different emphasis depending on the type of person you are dealing with. Cholerics' outbursts have mostly to do with themselves, here it's about learning to stand firm in the storm. When it comes to those who use aggression against others to satisfy their own needs, it is important to see that they are looking to play a game and for the game to give them the kick they are looking for, you have to play your part in a certain way . In such cases, the strategy should therefore be mainly to refuse to play in the game they are arranging and trying to lure you into.

 

Cholerics generally have a high tolerance for confrontation. They expect other people to stand up for their interests and positions. In fact, they often lose respect for others if they do not defend their integrity. You can therefore gain respect from the aggressive person by standing your ground. Mind your body language and make sure you are signaling confidence and not submission or fear. Seek and maintain eye contact. What you shouldn't do is get caught up in the anger. If you yell back, you will only fuel the aggression that has arisen.

It is important that you have a good sense of where your boundaries are and that you defend these boundaries against overstepping. Insist that you want to be treated respectfully. There will likely be overstepping more times, but it is important that you point out where your boundaries are and that you clearly signal when overstepping occurs.

 

During tantrums, your most important task is to simply stand still and be yourself. It is usually pointless to try to stop angry outbursts. Think of the eruption as a storm and yourself as a rock, or think of yourself as a director watching an actor. Do not start making objections and protests, but stick to your own convictions and repeat them if necessary. Will it be really cool, i.e. you are subjected to completely unreasonable insults, you should simply walk away. If you do, however, you must explain at a later date that you do not allow yourself to be treated in that way.

 

If you are dealing with someone who is aggressive because it amuses him or her to see you upset, you should concentrate on developing your verbal self-defense skills. It is important to realize that the tormentor cannot play his game alone, he or she depends on you to react in the "right" way. If you refuse to play your role in the game, the game will never really start either. If you are consistent in your refusal to play along, the tormentors will likely tire eventually. The first step is to learn to recognize the tricks the other person uses to tease you and draw you into the game. After that, you should make a firm decision not to allow yourself to be drawn into that kind of game again. The concrete strategy you use to stay out of the game depends of course on the individual situation. Often, it's a good tactic to simply say, "Dude, I don't want to play in that game. If you have criticisms or points of view, I'm happy to hear them if they're presented in a matter-of-fact tone." It can also be important to examine what sore points you yourself have and see how the other person tries to exploit them. When such an attempt is made, you should then simply ignore the baited hook thrown out and instead respond to some other part of what the other person is saying. A real expert in verbal self-defense, the American linguist Suzette Haden Elgin, recommends in some cases what she calls the "baroque response", i.e. that you go on a meaningless rant that goes on for so long that the other party realizes that this is not fun.

 

 

COVERED AGGRESSIVENESS

 

The covertly aggressive person makes jabs, insinuations or behaves in a way that hurts others without the aggressive person being held accountable for this. He or she maintains a formally correct or even friendly facade but is aware that they are actually trying to impress others. If you reciprocate openly, you risk being the villain, as it is difficult to establish that the other person behaved badly.

 

Covert aggression can have different backgrounds. In some cases, this behavior is a symptom of the emergence of a cold conflict (see ABC of Conflict Knowledge at the Conflict Academy) or a bullying situation. In such cases, the behavior thus has less to do with the individual's personality and more to do with the situation that arose. If it is clear that the behavior has to do with a single individual, the causes can either lie in the personality structure or in some unresolved event in the past. Covert aggression can be a way to shore up a faltering self-confidence by striking down at others in ways that do not leave oneself vulnerable to counterattack. Sometimes the covert attacks take place mainly in front of an audience, so that the aggressive through skillful pinning can make you appear in a negative light even in the eyes of others. However, it can also be that the person considers himself to have been subjected to some kind of violation and pays again for this through needles of various kinds. In rare cases, covert aggression is a premeditated strategy aimed at making life so unbearable for another person that they choose to leave. The goal may then be to get rid of a rival for a sought-after informal or formal position.

Particularly vulnerable

Disguised aggression is, of course, both a hostile act and a kind of negative feedback on one's own person. If you yourself depend on appreciation from the outside world to feel good, you can be hit hard by hidden aggressiveness.

 

Strategies

It is in the nature of things that it is difficult to access the hidden aggressiveness. The covert aggressive's strategy is that he or she should be able to deny that something has happened. Attempts to raise the issue often turn to new attacks, e.g. that one is a querulous or makes false accusations.

 

In simpler cases, you can try to disarm the behavior by mentioning it by name. You should then make sure that you do not make accusations, but rather ask questions, such as: Was that a dick? Should I take that comment as an insult? Are you trying to make it difficult for me? If the assault is in public, make sure you ask these questions in private with the assailant.

 

If it is impossible to access the individual small incidents, you can try to work with what are called "generic strategies." Instead of accusing a single person, you then initiate universal rules and norms for what is desirable and undesirable behavior, without naming any names. Once these principles are accepted in the workplace, individuals can be asked to live up to them.

 

If the hidden aggressiveness takes really malignant forms, such as sabotage actions, you should keep a logbook where you write down everything that happens. It may be impossible to prove that a single incident had malicious intent, but a long list of documented incidents may be harder to wave away.

 

 

INSENSITIVENESS

 

When the main problem is insensitivity, it is often about people who are not really in touch with other people's feelings and desires. They have not learned to read what others feel, think and want. This means that they do not automatically adapt their behavior to the needs of others. They also have a poor overview of the effects their own behavior has on others. Because of this insensitivity, these people have a tendency to follow their own beliefs without regard for the interests of others unless they are stopped. They can be very brusque, abusive and ruthless.

 

Particularly vulnerable

If you yourself need to have good relationships with your colleagues in order to thrive, you are extra vulnerable to people who do not take into account how others want it. You are also particularly vulnerable if, in order to manage your own work, you are heavily dependent on colleagues and managers being accommodating, flexible and helpful.

 

Strategies you can try

If the insensitivity is simply due to ignorance, it can help if you clearly articulate the consequences of their behavior for yourself, both practically and emotionally. It is a common mistake to take for granted that others understand what one needs, wants and feels.

 

You can also try to point out the long-term concrete consequences that a lack of courtesy has in terms of how work works in the workplace. If this does not work, it may also be necessary to work with rules and unilateral pressures.

Stubbornness

 

Headstrong people are characterized by having their own ideas about what should be done and how it should be done, and they are very reluctant to coordinate these with the ideas of others. They often have a description of reality that looks very different from that of their colleagues. Above all, they are unwilling or unable to change their beliefs and try to find a common vision and line. Sometimes it is about an inner need to demonstrate an independent will. It may be about people who were run over as children and who feel that it is a matter of survival for them to stick to their own line.

 

Particularly vulnerable

Those who place great value on cooperation and joint striving towards common goals are especially disturbed by wayward colleagues. Of course, stubbornness also disturbs more in workplaces where the staff are concretely dependent on you harmonizing their ideas than in workplaces where everyone does their own thing.

 

Strategies you can try

Headstrong people usually work best when they have their own territory that they can rule over as they wish. It may be wise to show respect for their autonomy and look for solutions that allow them to maintain a high degree of independence. To the extent that it is necessary to coordinate the work, clear and unambiguous decision-making procedures should be introduced so that you can establish what is applicable and follow up that it is complied with.

 

 

FRUSTRATION (GRIEVANCE)

 

This is about people who are almost constantly dissatisfied with life and their fellow human beings. They complain about the work situation, the incompetence of others and how they themselves are disadvantaged. At the same time, they are rarely willing to engage in serious attempts to do something constructive. They seem to hold onto their frustration. Their existence is permeated by negative emotions and moods from which they have no distance. They may feel bitterness, envy, powerlessness and hatred. Complaining often fulfills the function of creating a kind of community with others by sharing the same dissatisfaction and by jointly disliking someone else, e.g. the manager, a scapegoat or other departments within the organization. This means that constructive initiatives or people who have a more positive view of life can become direct threats to the sense of community that the grievance creates.

 

Particularly vulnerable

People who are emotionally strongly affected by the moods of others can suffer intensely from having querulous people around them. The constant complaining creates a negative environment that can become unbearable in the long run. People who are more hard-skinned and less receptive to moods and other people's feelings may not be bothered by the grudge at all. It can be particularly troublesome if you are appointed as the main listener to the complaint and lack the skills and courage to interrupt the complainant when the meter is full.

 

Strategies you can try

If you come to the conclusion that complaining is an inept way of creating a sense of community in the workplace, it is of course wise to try strategies to create this sense of community in more positive ways. You can search for topics of conversation where you can find each other without complaining about others. If the frustration is more a matter of a single person, you can try active listening. You may think you have listened more than enough, but have you really tried to listen in such a way that the other person really feels heard? It may happen that real listening gives the frustrated a relief that makes it possible to move on to more constructive paths. Listening and showing that you understand what the other person feels, thinks and thinks does not mean that you agree with everything. An in-depth discussion of the art of listening can be found in the text The art of having constructive conversations in conflicts on this website.

If the complaining is the individual's unconscious strategy to satisfy a great and insatiable need for attention, of course the active listening can have the opposite effect: the person concerned selects you as their favorite listener for the laments. If listening doesn't help, you may need to resort to gentle but firm confrontations to set limits on the complaining. A common problem is that people feel it is impolite to interrupt. That norm is certainly good in the normal case, but here it can cause more harm than good for both you and the other person. Therefore, decide not to let yourself feel like a buffalo when you interrupt, but to listen until you have understood the gist of the message, and then take the initiative even if you have to interrupt the other person in the middle of a sentence. When you do this, it can be helpful to show that you have listened by providing a summary of the other person's message.

 

People who complain a lot often have the impression that it is "always" or "never" one way or the other. Here you should enter with questions that invite the other person to be more precise and describe when, where and how.

 

The most important strategy, however, is to kindly but firmly always lead the conversation into concrete problem solving, i.e. what can be done to make it work better in the future. In most cases, considerable persistence and energy is required to engage the frustrated person in a constructive conversation. He or she is generally completely focused on getting you to agree that everything is bad and that any attempt to improve the situation is doomed to failure. However, one should not allow oneself to be distracted by this, but select well-defined problems and insist on talking about how they can be fixed. One strategy that Bramson recommends for managers is to give the complainer the task of documenting in writing what is working poorly, with the time, number and other very precise information. This means that the frustrated person becomes involved in concretizing the complaints so that they can be remedied. Another tip, if the complaint drags on, is to interrupt the other person and ask what he or she would like the conversation to lead to. The key to dealing with complainers, then, is to hold the frustrated person accountable for more constructive conversations.

 

If the complaint takes the form of a colleague who wants to drag you into participating in negative gossip about other colleagues, the situation is different. Here it is mostly about the fact that it is partly unpleasant for you to be involved in gossip, and partly can lead to a negative spiral in terms of relationships at the workplace. The situation is often awkward, because if you say that you don't want to be part of any slander, there is a great risk that you will clash with your colleague and perhaps become the subject of toxic comments behind your back. Haden Elgin recommends that in such situations you steer clear by answering as if the other person was talking about a general problem, not about a specific person, for example: "Unfortunately, it is common for people not to keep their working hours properly. What do you think to do about that problem?" Under no circumstances do you agree to have opinions about individuals, only about the abstract problem.

 

 

LABILITY

 

By lability is meant here people who swing strongly and uncontrollably in their emotions and also live them out. Unstable people find it difficult to live up to the role expectations linked to the role of a professional in a workplace. The private and the professional cannot really be kept apart, but emotions take over in a way that others feel is inappropriate in the context.

Unstable people are often very strongly influenced by what others say and do. They often have a fragile self-image which means that even minor setbacks lead to strong crisis reactions.

 

Particularly vulnerable

Those who find it unpleasant when other people are not completely predictable and feel uncomfortable when others show strong emotions have extra difficulty cooperating with emotionally unstable people. Differences in beliefs about how one should behave in working life can also come into play here. Some see it as self-evident that one must make a strict distinction between private life (e.g. personal feelings) and work. If you have this attitude, lability can be extra annoying.

 

Strategies you can try

Be tolerant of the emotional outbursts and don't attach too much importance to them. Consider them like storms: when they are over, you return to the agenda. Do not go into the emotions fully, but rather take a break from what was going on and wait for everything to calm down. Calm and matter-of-fact reflection of the feelings can be good, i.e. to confirm that you see what emotions have been stirred up and that you accept that they exist.

 

 

CONTROL NEEDS

 

This is about people who do not trust others to handle their tasks satisfactorily. It can be about managers who want to control in detail how things should be done and who control small details. It can also be colleagues who have a strong need for the work to be done in a certain specific way and who make sure that it also happens. Behind this behavior is sometimes a notion that there will be chaos unless a responsible person oversees that everything is done correctly. Not infrequently there is also a strong belief that there is only one right way to do things. People with a high need for control find it difficult to really trust others. In extreme cases, there may be a paranoid tendency, i.e. that they believe other people are out to sabotage the order.

 

Particularly vulnerable

If you have a great need for freedom to decide how you do things, you probably suffer more than others from controlling managers or colleagues. Some people want room for spontaneity and like to solve problems as they arise rather than having everything regulated in advance. Such differences in personal style can be stubborn points of conflict in a workplace.

 

Strategies you can try

Investigate whether the person trying to control you has underlying doubts that you can do the job properly. Try to find out exactly what the concerns are so that you can suggest measures to ensure that things don't go bad. It is better that you take the initiative for control measures yourself, because then you can design them yourself in a reasonable way. Feel free to signal to the other that you think it is important with control and security, it can make her relax. However, it is important that you defend your privacy boundaries, e.g. by negotiating the overall norms for the distribution of roles. A good strategy is to reach agreements in advance about exactly when and how information is to be given. Insist that these agreements are respected.

 

 

INDECISION/AVOIDANCE

 

There are a lot of people, both in management positions and as ordinary employees, who have difficulty making definitive decisions and implementing them. They avoid taking a stand, postpone decisions and find it difficult to express a clear and distinct position on issues where there are divided opinions. There can be various reasons for the avoidance behavior. Some people can't stand doing things that make others sad or angry. They look for ways to avoid confrontations and "scenes." It gets worst when they end up in conflicts of loyalty. They then try to be accommodating in different directions at the same time, which can lead to them very quickly turning their coat after the wind and giving completely different signals in different directions. Others are afraid to clash with their own superiors and therefore avoid raising issues that might make him or her appear in an unfavorable light.

Particularly vulnerable

If you are someone who wants to drive development forward and change things, there is an extra high risk that you will be strongly frustrated by avoidant behavior. Of course, your vulnerability is also greatest if you actually depend on the other person's decisions to be able to move forward.

 

Strategies you can try

Make sure to raise problems in good time, so that the other person has time to react. Bring up a discussion about the inner conflict the avoider faces. There is often some kind of fear of negative consequences that causes the decision or execution to be constantly postponed or avoided. Find out what problems the other person sees. Prepare for the conversation in advance by having suggestions on how possible negative consequences can be prevented. Confronting avoiders by pressuring them to act only risks reinforcing the ambivalence and fear that lead to delaying behavior. Make it easy for him or her to make decisions. Sometimes it can help to signal understanding of the avoider's inner conflicts.

 

 

OMNISCIENT

 

For "besserwissers" it is important to appear as someone who knows and knows a lot. Above all, it is important not to be ignorant and not to be wrong. A certain narcissistic problem is often at the bottom. An uncertainty about one's own value leads to overcompensation, i.e. that you strive to be a particularly intelligent and excellent person in order to convince yourself and the world around you that you are good. People who claim to always be right often strive persistently to know their stuff in order to live up to the role. This means that they often actually know a lot, which is a resource you should of course take advantage of.

 

Particularly vulnerable

Not everyone gets mad at omniscients. It is worst for those who themselves would like to have respect for their skills.

 

Strategies you can try

With omniscients, it is often wise to develop a certain flexibility. Open challenges easily arouse persistent and vigorous defensive measures. Invite the person to appreciate their skills, they are in great need of respect and self-esteem. If it is a situation where your colleague insists that a certain line is correct while you yourself are convinced that it will lead to big problems, then you should prepare well by familiarizing yourself with all the details. Express your objections and doubts in the form of questions rather than direct criticism.

 

 

BEGGING

 

This is about people who are very difficult to access. They don't show what they think and feel and have very effective strategies to make conversations die. They don't answer questions at all or so monosyllabically and blandly that it becomes very difficult for the other person to move on.

 

There can be various reasons for the silence. One is that the person in question has gone into "inner exile." Something, not necessarily related to you, has led her or him to decide that there is no point in participating in the social life of the workplace and has retreated into his or her own cocoon. Another reason could be that the person grew up in a silent family and therefore never acquired a language and a habit of formulating their own feelings, thoughts and wishes in words. Begging here is not an active defensive stance but more an expression of inability. A third reason can be a great need to be left alone in one's own world. The person may feel threatened by close contacts with others and wants to mark that she or he keeps to her own edge.

 

Particularly vulnerable

Begging is most difficult to handle for those who themselves need a lot of social contact to thrive and for those who become very insecure when he or she does not know what others think and think.

 

Strategies

The first thing you should try with people who are silent is to ask open questions, i.e. questions that invite the other person to present their point of view rather than questions that can be answered with yes or no. You should also actively use silence yourself, i.e. simply wait for the other person to answer. While you are waiting, you look attentively and interestedly at the other person and thus signal that the ball is with him. It takes very determined silencers to just let the silence continue indefinitely in such a situation. If you yourself find silence difficult and uncomfortable, it is good to have a little mental preparation in advance, perhaps in combination with the trick of counting the seconds after you have handed over the floor to the other person. Also, be careful not to fall into the trap of trying to save the other person's face by making small talk about something else. Bramson suggests that in such a situation you should say something like: "I was hoping you would say something about this, but you don't. What does that mean?" Then you wait again in silence for an answer. If nothing happens now either, you can also comment on that and ask the other person to suggest how to proceed.

If this doesn't work either, you can try to help the other person get started. One way might be to guess as best as you can what the other person is feeling and thinking and say something like, "I guess you find this topic of conversation uncomfortable and you think I'll be pissed off if you say what you actually thinking." If your guess is correct, you will probably receive a verbal or non-verbal (i.e. via body language) confirmation of this. If it is incorrect, it will be difficult for the other person to let it stand without saying anything. Other possibilities are to describe something in the other person's body language and ask what it stands for.

 

Failed meetings, i.e. where the tiger stubbornly continued with his silence, should end with a comment that the theme will be taken up again, preferably with a specified time. One should not let the tiger succeed in his behavior, i.e. that all unpleasant substances are released and handled in some other way.

 

If nothing works at all, you have to decide for yourself how to act. You should then tell the other person that you interpret the silence in a certain way and will act in a certain way if the silent person has not, by a certain time, decided to engage in a discussion.

 

 

UNRELIABILITY

 

There are people who constantly promise to do certain things, but very rarely live up to their promises. Not infrequently it is about people who have a very short time horizon and thus lack the overview and foresight that would enable them to determine what they will be able to do and what they will likely not be able to do. The future is indefinite but has unlimited possibilities, so it's easy to do what's easiest or gives immediate benefits in the moment and hope the rest will somehow work itself out later. Often, the unreliable person simultaneously wants to appear mischievous and therefore promises more than he or she can keep. In workplaces, it can e.g. about the craftsman, manager or salesperson who promises a customer that a service will be performed next week, even though it is not actually possible. The problem is then transferred to someone else, who then has to reason with the dissatisfied customer or colleague.

 

Particularly vulnerable

Unreliability is often a very practical problem, as it interferes with one's ability to perform work tasks well. Strong unreliability is therefore something that is very frustrating for most people. However, it will be extra stressful for those who have a great need for order, planning and avoiding irritations. You, who yourself have a strong sense of responsibility, are especially irritated by irresponsible behavior. If you also find it very unpleasant when third parties suffer and complain, the unreliability can become a difficult problem.

 

Strategies

Of course, to the greatest extent possible, working conditions should be regulated so that the unreliable person, to the greatest extent possible, himself has to bear the consequences of his lack of foresight. It can be important to be very direct and clear about the limits of what you yourself are prepared to do to take care of the consequences. You can e.g. make it clear to the person concerned that you do not intend to lie in front of customers, managers or others to save face. If it's a person who has a strong need to be seen as good-natured and liked, it might be wise to give positive feedback on his or her good qualities, while pointing out the long-term negative effects of frustrating others.

 

 

DISHONESTY/SELF-BENEFIT

 

One can find themselves in very difficult situations when they have to work together with colleagues or managers who use unethical or even illegal means to further their own selfish interests. It can be about fraud, unethical manipulations to secure one's own power or resources, lies to hide mistakes and shortcomings, etc. People who use unethical methods are often identified with rather narrowly defined interests (e.g. acquiring money, power and reputation for themselves) and backs up the egoistic motivation with their own moral beliefs.

Particularly vulnerable

It is especially difficult to deal with dishonest people if they have a position of power over you, e.g. because you are dependent on the income and the person concerned can see to it that you lose your job. If you yourself have a strong sense of justice, the dishonest behavior of others can lead to strong discomfort and severe pangs of conscience, even if you are not directly involved in what is going on.

 

Strategies you can try

If you have to do with behavior that may be illegal or violate the organization's regulations and norms, you can get into trouble yourself. Here it is important to protect oneself against being drawn into the problems the person concerned is causing. You should find out what your own legal obligations are in this context. It is also important to document as much as possible. Write a diary of what happens, what the person said and what measures you yourself took. This can be very significant in being able to free yourself from suspicion and accusations at a later stage.

 

Pay attention to how strongly your own peace of mind is affected by what is going on. Whatever it is that keeps you working isn't worth anything.

 

Even if you are deeply upset by what the person is doing, it is in your own best interest to try to focus on the problem rather than the person. Unethical behavior should be combated by establishing and enforcing general rules on how to act.

 

 

 

Literature

BEGEMANN, P. (2000) Den Chef im Griff. Wie Sie klarkommen – wie Sie Ihre Ziele durchsetzen, Frankfurt a. M.: Eichborn.

BRAMSON, R. (1986) To cooperate with difficult people, Svenska Dagbladets Förlag.

BRAMSON, R. (1993) Working with difficult managers, Svenska Dagbladets Förlag.

ELGIN, S. H. (2000) The gentle art of verbal self-defense at work, Prentice Hall Press.

HESSE, J. & SCHRADER, H. C. (1993) Krieg im Büro. Konflikte am Arbeitsplatz und wie man sie löst, Frankfurt a. M.: Eichborn.

Part 3 facts about personality syndrome.

Personality syndrome.

Personality syndrome means that a person has such deviant and inflexible personality traits that it leads to tangible suffering for the person themselves, and/or to a reduced ability to manage relationships, both socially and in professional life.

 

By personality is meant the pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that characterize a person. Everyone is unique, no one is exactly like another. But there are common patterns in how we think, feel and behave. We call it personality traits. For example, we talk about extroverts and introverts, without believing that all introverts are exactly alike in every way. It is normal to have both strengths and weaknesses in one's personality.

There are ten different personality syndromes that are divided into three different groups.

 

Personality syndromes that describe odd or eccentric personalities

Personality syndrome paranoid form

Personality syndrome paranoid form means that a person is unusually suspicious of other people. The suspicions may be about other people being deceived, exploiting or harming him or her.

 

One is often preoccupied with unfair doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of others. This makes it difficult to trust and dare to confide in others. It is easy for mean or threatening sentences to be read into comments and actions. One may have groundless suspicions of infidelity.

 

Personality syndrome schizoid form

Personality syndrome schizoid form means lack of interest in social relationships. You prefer to be by yourself and have no close friends. One has difficulty expressing emotions and may appear indifferent or emotionally cold. You rarely feel joy in activities, do not appreciate good food and often lack the desire for sex.

 

Personality syndrome schizotypal form

Those who have the schizotypal form of personality syndrome are perceived by others as someone with odd behaviours. One often has the feeling of having an extra (magical) mind, and believes in superstitions, clairvoyance, telepathy and the like. Speech can be verbose, vague or metaphorical (figurative).

 

Personality syndrome that describes dramatic, emotional, and impulsive personalities

Personality syndrome antisocial form

Personality syndrome antisocial form involves a lack of respect for other people's rights and for social norms, such as breaking the law, lying and being deceived. Those who are antisocial are often impulsive, irritable, or aggressive. One can act carelessly and have a lack of respect for one's own safety or that of others. You can show indifference or rationalize away your own responsibility in situations where you have treated someone badly, injured, or stolen from someone else.

 

Personality syndrome borderline type

Borderline-type personality syndrome involves difficulties in handling emotions, often turbulent relationships with others and black-and-white thinking. One often has severe separation anxiety, and in important relationships can alternately become almost "clingy" with becoming distant and distance-creating. Other people are idealized alternately with being devalued. You are often impulsive, for example wasteful with money, or careless in traffic.

 

Self-injurious behavior and suicidal acts, and difficulty controlling aggression, are common. You often have an uncertain image of yourself and your identity. One experiences a constant feeling of emptiness and unreality. Sometimes you can become excessively suspicious of others or get feelings of unreality.

 

Borderline is also called emotionally unstable personality disorder.

 

Personality syndrome histrionic form

Personality syndrome histrionic form involves strong emotional expressions, an unreasonable need for attention, and inappropriate seductive behavior. One can be excessively lively, flirtatious, and dramatic in one's gestures and emotional expressions.

They are constantly looking for encouragement and approval, and are very sensitive to criticism. You want to be the center of attention and are often easily influenced by other people.

 

Personality syndrome narcissistic form

Personality syndrome narcissistic form involves a great need to assert oneself, a very exaggerated self-image and a lack of compassion towards other people. People often think they have great talents and fantasize about great success, power, beauty, and status. One expects admiration from others and can be arrogant towards other people. People want to get special benefits and often take advantage of others for their own needs.

 

Personality syndrome that describes people with excessive anxiety

Personality syndrome anxious form

Personality syndrome anxious form involves a feeling of inadequacy, fear of criticism and negative judgments and a feeling of not being liked. One avoids social contact for fear of being disliked, ridiculed or rejected. The self-image is weak and the person believes that he is inferior to others or uninteresting.

 

Personality syndrome, non-independent form

Personality syndrome anxious form involves a fear of being abandoned and a perceived need to be cared for. You avoid making your own decisions and let others take responsibility and initiative. You want the support of a parent or your partner. You have difficulty speaking out or standing up for your opinion, and would rather agree to something you think is wrong than speak out. You put up with physical and mental abuse to avoid living alone.

 

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder involves an excessively diligent and performance-oriented manner that leads to the neglect of personal relationships. You are so busy with order, details and rules that the very meaning of the activity is lost. Perfectionism interferes with the ability to complete tasks. The person may be overly involved in their work so that leisure time is neglected. Sometimes you can accumulate worn out or useless things and have a hard time getting rid of them. You are often stingy both with yourself and others, and are moral, rigid and stubborn.

 

How common are personality disorders?

 

Up to ten percent of the population has some personality syndrome. Some personality syndromes become less pronounced during life. This applies above all to the dramatic and impulsive personalities, while the odd and anxious ones are more constant. If you undergo psychological treatment, the symptoms can decrease more and faster.

 

What causes personality disorders?

Both heredity and environment play a role in the development of a person's personality. Innate temperamental traits, psychological and social factors during childhood interact in the development of a personality syndrome.

 

How are personality disorders treated?

The choice of treatment is made with regard to the type of personality syndrome involved. Commonly, psychotherapy is considered to be the best help. There are forms of psychotherapy, including dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which are well suited to the treatment of borderline.

 

Medicines can possibly be used to alleviate psychological symptoms such as depression, anxiety, or psychotic symptoms.

 

There is still a great lack of knowledge about what are effective treatments for personality disorders. The most important thing is to give a good treatment with respect for the difficulties the patients experience, which results in their often awkward behaviour.

 

What can you do yourself?

Seek help, there is help in the form of psychological treatment. You can get protection against suicidal acts by being hospitalized in psychiatry.

 

Try to observe yourself. What are your difficulties? What are your strengths? Can you see in which situations you get into trouble?

 

Accept your difficulties, they may exist. As long as your actions do not harm yourself or anyone else, there is no danger. Can you do something preventively? It is common for vulnerability to increase if you are tired, hungry, drunk, or if you are rejected. Can you avoid those situations?

 

Think about what you want and long for in your life. What do you want? In which direction do you want to go? Believe in your opportunities to develop. Set small, realistic goals to start moving in the direction you long for. The goals should be so close to where you are that they are achievable. Gradually, you can take new steps towards goals you want to realize.

 

Fact-checked by: Samuel Qu, associate professor, senior physician, specialist in child and adolescent psychiatry and psychiatry.

3 - How to deal with difficult people.

How would you handle a troublesome person? What kind of dialogues should one have with such people?

The right strategy is important for dealing with difficult people

Difficult people Dealing with extremely difficult people is a challenge for every work group and company. And if the manager and management do not have the knowledge and the right strategy for how they should act, it can easily have disastrous effects.

Every CEO has at some point been hit by what they perceive to be extremely difficult and troublesome people. And then far outside what can be considered normal in the reactions and behaviors they encounter.

A person who is difficult is usually someone who has a need that you may not be willing or able to meet. You may dismiss the person as whiny or annoying instead of first looking at how you act yourself and then seeing the matter from a more objective perspective and creating an understanding that makes it easier for you to interact with each other, both now and in the future.

 

Having a reflective attitude and seeing yourself and the world around you in a nuanced and correct way makes us more tolerant. This approach means that you will find it easier to interact with other people. In cases where you are the manager or leader of the person in question, it is even more important to create understanding in order to then be able to take measures in a good way.

 

What lies within yourself?

 

A prerequisite for dealing with others is to first see what lies within yourself and how what you say and do is perceived by others. Maybe you just misunderstand each other.

 

Consider whether you:

 

perceives the other correctly

listens to what the other person really says and means

projects own problems and opinions onto the other party

have unreasonable expectations

are tired and react more negatively than you usually do

treats the other in an unpleasant manner

through your behavior, has taught the person to be this way in interaction with you

What is with the other person?

 

It will be easier for yourself if you create more compassion for the other person instead of dismissing him or her as troublesome. You never know what a person is experiencing inside.

 

The other person can:

 

misperceive and misinterpret your intentions

have unreasonable expectations of life and other people

be stressed

have a negative self-image

going through some kind of grief, crisis or being in depression

have a physical illness, where aches and pains affect

have an addiction and/or withdrawal

suffer from personality problems such as narcissism, borderline or similar

have neuropsychiatric problems such as ADHD or autism

have shortcomings in upbringing - in pure Swedish: impolite and unpleasant

Create the conditions for behavioral changes

If you yourself create an understanding of the other person, you can handle the person more easily. How should criticism be presented and how can you bring about a change in behaviour? Getting the person motivated to want to change requires a good understanding of the problem and an ability to convey your view of the problem to the person.

 

Help the person fix the underlying problem

Make sure they nuance the picture of the situation

Make sure expectations are realistic and reasonable

Make the person see the benefits of cooperating

Create the conditions to thrive

 

 

Learn more

If you want to learn more about leadership and communication, we have several courses on the subject. You can find them here via our page where there is a contact form.

One of the courses that delves specifically into managing people in the organization is Psychiatry for Decision Makers with Samuel Qu.

6- Today there are so-called Middle Eastern people who are emotional and this behavior has caused them problems in their behavior and in meeting others. If any woman were to be kind to them so that they fell in love with her, this behavior surely caused a lot of trouble.

7- How to know that a person suffers from personal symptoms?

8- It is easy today to feel immediately and know that the person has symptoms.

When the person immediately gets angry and has a lack of dialogue then you can say it is a disease called personal symptoms.

Presentation

Conflicts in working life can be very costly for both the individual parties involved, as well as for the business as a whole. Unnecessary or poorly handled conflicts cost valuable energy, time and mental suffering for the parties and with it comes reduced job satisfaction, poorer cooperation, reduced energy, reduced productivity and efficiency. In the worst case, it can also lead to long-term ill health, sick leave, relocation, etc. Conflicts rarely only affect the individual parties, but tend to both influence and engage many more in the organization.

 

Time, resources, motivation and productivity, which are needed for the purposes of the business, are instead lost in dealing with disputes.

 

During this training day, you will receive, among other things;

 

learn how you can prevent unnecessary conflicts from arising to an equal extent

learn how to appropriately handle the conflicts that still arise after all

increased understanding of the dynamics of the conflict

learn valuable and effective methods for preventing and managing conflicts

learn how to deal with toxic personalities, bullying and troublesome behaviors.

The education day is aimed at

Anyone who experiences a lot of friction and conflict-filled meetings in their professional role, both internally and in meetings with customers, users, clients, etc. No prior knowledge is required.

 

Can you afford to miss it?

 

COURSE CONTENT FOR THE DAY

Increased understanding of conflict causes and conflict influencing factors

 

What defines a troublesome person?

What is a conflict?

The dynamics of the conflict and influencing factors

The benefits of preventing unnecessary conflict

Effective communication for reduced friction and increased understanding

 

Communicate on the right frequency

Signals that you should pay attention to in your own and others' communication

It is better to speak up than to speak out

Differentiate between professional and private person, thing and person

So you can set boundaries and make better decisions in pressured situations

 

This is how you deal with dominance techniques and other shame tactics

GOOD. - coping, a method for dealing with anger and frustration

Pick your battles

Dealing with stress and making good decisions in conflict-laden meetings

This way you will get better at reading and interpreting non-verbal messages

 

Body language never lies

Common misunderstandings about body language

Take control of your body language to maintain a good state of mind

Listening is an art, speaking is a need

As we shout, we receive an answer

Optimize your digital meetings

 

This increases your chances of being heard and making an impact at digital meetings

This reduces the risk of you being perceived as uninteresting and/or disinterested

Language of power and abuse of power in digital meetings

Dealing with and dealing with toxic personalities and bullying

 

How to deal with toxic people

In case of bullying – advice and concrete tools

Learn to calm threatening situations via de-escalation

No prior knowledge is required.

Your own imaginations deceive you

A new and slightly scary discovery shows that things we only imagine can actually change what we perceive. Something you imagine you see can distort what you hear. And what you only imagine you hear, can change what you see.

If you've seen a really good ventriloquist that makes it seem like the hand puppet can talk, then you know that one of your senses can trick another.

 Your brain perceives it as the voice coming from the doll moving its mouth and not the person next to it, because it appears to be sitting completely still.

 Auditory and visual impressions clash and your perception of where the sound is coming from is distorted when you see the doll's mouth move.

In order for us to perceive the world around us, in the right way, the impressions from our senses must be combined in the brain, in the right way.

Previous research has already shown that when the impressions are not combined quite right, the impression from one sense can change our perception of the impression from another.

The discovery that what we see can change what we hear and what we hear can change what we see, and so on, inspired some Swedish researchers who today publish a new study. And it shows that it's not just our different senses that deceive each other – pure imaginations can also distort real sense impressions.

Is your world real?

- We wanted to see if the things we imagine can also lead to such dramatic distortions in our perception of the outside world, says researcher Christopher Berger, at the Karolinska Institutet.

He knew from previous research that things we only imagine activate the same areas of the brain that perceive these things when they are not just imagination. So, for example, when you fantasize about a house, the same part of the brain is activated as when you actually look at a house.

- We found that imagining a certain sound or a certain shape changes our perception of the world around us in the same way as if we had actually heard the sound or seen that shape. The results of our experiment are the first to show that what we imagine in one mind can change what we perceive in another.

You shouldn't imagine anything

The new and slightly scary thing here is that things we only imagine can actually change what we actually perceive.

For example, this somewhat breathtaking knowledge may help us better understand the mechanisms that cause our brain to fail to distinguish between imagination and reality in certain psychiatric diseases, such as schizophrenia. The results may also be useful for developers of Brain Computer Interface (BCI) technology that allows a person to control devices in a real or virtual environment using mental images.

- Our next step will be to investigate the mechanisms in the brain that lie behind the ideas that change our ability to perceive. And in the future, we hope that this can help us understand the mechanisms behind discriminatory perceptions that our own beliefs can give rise to, says Christopher Berger.

 Are you the kind of person who is so easily deceived?

So you lack self-analysis and don't think before doing something, or you lack self-questioning or self-criticism.

FACTS

The study is based on a series of experiments where the subjects are exposed to illusions where the information from a certain sense changes or distorts the perception according to another sense organ. Ninety-six healthy volunteers participated in the study.

In the first experiment, participants were asked to think of a sound that occurs when two objects collide. This led them to imagine that the objects were colliding when in fact they were just passing each other.

In a second experiment, participants' spatial perception was affected by a sound in the direction of a location where they imagined seeing a white circle appear for a short time.

In a third experiment, imagining a specific sound influenced participants' perception of what a person they saw had said.

The results are published in the scientific journal Current Biology today.

Harte Kindheit hinter vielen Krankheiten.

Gewalt in der Familie, ein missbräuchlicher Elternteil – oder keine saubere Kleidung, zu kleine Schuhe, nicht genug Essen auf dem Tisch. Solche Kindheitserlebnisse erhöhen das Krankheitsrisiko im Erwachsenenalter.

Viele tragen ein Kindheitstrauma in sich. Viele Menschen leben zum Beispiel mit der Erinnerung daran, wie sie als Kinder geschlagen wurden.

- Exposition während der Kindheit ist eines unserer größten Probleme für die öffentliche Gesundheit, sagt der Kinderarzt Steven Lucas, der erforscht, wie sich Kindheitserlebnisse auf Menschen im späteren Leben auswirken können.

„Wahrscheinlich die wichtigste öffentliche Gesundheitsstudie, von der Sie noch nie gehört haben“ – so heißt sie: Die ACE-Studie. Es zeigte sich ein klarer Zusammenhang zwischen schwierigen Kindheitserlebnissen und psychischen Erkrankungen – von leichten Angstzuständen oder Depressionen bis hin zu schwerwiegenderen Erkrankungen und Persönlichkeitsstörungen. Aber auch ein Zusammenhang mit körperlichen Erkrankungen, darunter Gefäßerkrankungen, Krebs, Typ-2-Diabetes und schweres Übergewicht.

Übergewicht schützt vor schwierigen Kindheitserinnerungen

Alles begann Mitte der 1980er Jahre, als der Arzt Vincent Felitti in San Diego, USA, verwirrt darüber war, dass so viele seiner Patienten in der Adipositas-Klinik beschlossen, die Behandlung trotz des Erfolgs abzubrechen. Um herauszufinden, warum, befragten er und seine Kollegen fast 200 Überläufer.

Eine Frau erwähnte, dass sie als Kind von ihrem Vater sexuell missbraucht worden sei – und es scheint, dass sie nicht die Einzige war, die diese Erfahrung gemacht hat. Viele hatten auch andere schwierige Kindheitserlebnisse im Gepäck und ihre Gewichtsprobleme begannen oft in unmittelbarer Nähe. Aber bei weitem nicht jeder sah Fettleibigkeit als Problem an.

Im Gegenteil, es konnte als Lösung des eigentlichen Problems erlebt werden, über das sie noch nie zuvor mit jemandem gesprochen hatten. Es sei, als ob das Übergewicht zu einem „Schutz“ vor schwierigen Kindheitserlebnissen geworden sei, erzählte Vincent Felitti später.

Lesen Sie auch: Traumata in der Kindheit können im Erwachsenenalter zu Fettleibigkeit führen.

Zehn schwierige Kindheitserlebnisse

Forscherin Felitti konnte nicht loslassen, welche Auswirkungen schwierige Erfahrungen in der Kindheit tatsächlich auf unsere Gesundheit im Erwachsenenalter haben. Etwa 20 Jahre später hatten er und seine Kollegen mit der späteren ACE-Studie begonnen – einer Umfrage mit Fragen zu Missbrauch und Funktionsstörungen in der Familie, den sogenannten ACEs, Adverse Childhood Experiences.

26.000 Menschen wurden gefragt, ob sie Forschern helfen wollten, zu verstehen, wie sich Kindheitserlebnisse auf die Gesundheit im Erwachsenenalter auswirken können, 17.421 antworteten mit „Ja“. Fast 70 Prozent der Teilnehmer hatten ein oder mehrere schwierige Kindheitserlebnisse, fast 90 Prozent davon zwei oder mehr.

Was ist eine schlechte Kindheit? – zehn traumatische Kindheitserlebnisse

Die Forschung hat zehn Kindheitserlebnisse identifiziert, die das Krankheitsrisiko im Erwachsenenalter erhöhen (Adverse Childhood Experiences, ACE):

1. Psychische Gewalt

2. Körperliche Gewalt

3. Sexuelle Gewalt

4. Emotionale Vernachlässigung – wenn der Elternteil die Bedürfnisse des Kindes nicht erkennt und daher nicht erfüllen kann.

5. Körperliche Vernachlässigung – zum Beispiel wenn es zu Hause kein Essen gibt, keine Seife zum Waschen vorhanden ist oder Kleidung und Schuhe zu klein oder nicht für die Jahreszeit geeignet sind ...

6. Gewalt in der Familie

7. Missbrauch durch einen Elternteil

8. Geisteskrankheit eines Elternteils

9. Elternteil im Gefängnis oder kriminell.

10. Scheidung oder Trennung der Eltern (wenn die Trennung zur Armut oder zum Verlust eines Elternteils für das Kind führt).

Je mehr negative Erfahrungen (ACEs) es gibt, desto häufiger treten medizinische, psychologische und soziale Probleme im Erwachsenenalter auf, so die ACE-Studie. Bei vier oder mehr schwierigen Erlebnissen steigt das Risiko deutlich.

Quelle: Die ACE-Studie

Die ACE-Studie war bahnbrechend, sagt Steven Lucas, Kinderarzt und Leiter der Forschungsgruppe REACH, Research Enhancing Adolescent and Child Health, an der Universität Uppsala.

- Es wurde zum Ausgangspunkt für viele Forscher weltweit. Dass Herz-Kreislauf-Erkrankungen und bestimmte Krebsarten bei Erwachsenen teilweise damit zusammenhängen könnten, dass sie als Kind Gewalt ausgesetzt waren – das ging wie eine Schockwelle durch die Forschungswelt. Es wurde klar, dass dies mehr als schade für die Kinder ist, dass dies weitreichende Folgen hat und sowohl für das Gehirn als auch für den Körper schädlich ist.

Kindheitstraumata führen zu toxischem Stress

Viele können leicht nachvollziehen, dass wiederkehrende schwierige Erfahrungen in der Kindheit zu psychischen Erkrankungen führen können. Dass es auch zu körperlichen Erkrankungen führen kann, scheint vielleicht nicht so offensichtlich, denn wie kann das passieren?

Die Ursache sei toxischer Stress, also eine übermäßige und langanhaltende Aktivierung des körpereigenen Stressreaktionssystems, erklärt Steven Lucas.

„Es ist, als ob das Nervensystem von Kindern mit schwierigen Erfahrungen mehr oder weniger ständig von Stresshormonen überschwemmt wird – und Stresshormone wirken sich unter anderem auf das Herz-Kreislauf-System und das Immunsystem aus“, sagt er.

Sichere Erwachsene können Kinder vor schädlichem Stress schützen

Das bedeutet nicht, dass es Schicksal ist, dass diejenigen, die schwierige Kindheitserfahrungen gemacht haben, im Erwachsenenalter an einer Krankheit leiden.

- Es ist wie beim Rauchen – nicht jeder, der raucht, bekommt Lungenkrebs, aber jeder hat ein erhöhtes Risiko, sagt Steven Lucas.

Untersuchungen zeigen, dass es Schutzfaktoren gibt. Unsere Persönlichkeit kann so sein – einige von uns sind sensible Seelen, während andere, die robuster gebaut sind, vielleicht etwas mehr Stress verkraften können.

Die Umwelt kann ein weiterer Schutzfaktor sein. Wenn wir als Kinder andere sichere Menschen um uns gehabt hätten – vielleicht den anderen Elternteil, einen Großvater oder einen Lehrer, der sich um uns gekümmert hat – wären wir möglicherweise während beängstigender Erlebnisse beruhigt und getröstet worden, so dass sich unser Stresshormonspiegel nicht änderte muss immer so hoch sein.

Viele leben mit Kindheitstraumata

Letztes Jahr veröffentlichten Steven Lucas und seine Mitarbeiter eine Studie, die zeigt, dass ein sehr großer Teil der Frauen und Männer in Schweden mit Erfahrungen und Erinnerungen an Gewalterfahrungen leben:

Etwa jeder Vierte oder jeder Fünfte gab an, als Kind körperliche Gewalt durch einen Elternteil erfahren zu haben.

Jeder zehnte Mann hatte psychische Gewalt durch einen Elternteil erlebt, bei Frauen war diese Erfahrung fast doppelt so häufig.

Die Häufigkeit elterlicher Gewalt gegen Kinder war während des größten Teils des von den Forschern untersuchten Zeitraums von 57 Jahren ungefähr gleich.

- Aber etwa 1984, fünf Jahre nachdem wir ein Gesetz erlassen hatten, das Kindesmissbrauch verbot, begann die körperliche Gewalt abzunehmen, sagt Steven Lucas.

Forscher der Universität Uppsala haben eine weitere Studie durchgeführt, die bestätigt, dass eine schwierige Kindheit oft schwerwiegende Folgen für das gesamte Leben eines Menschen hat. Und vor allem, wenn beide in einem Paar solche Erfahrungen machen. 818 Mütter und ihre Partner beantworteten ein Jahr nach der gemeinsamen Geburt eines Kindes einen Fragebogen zu unerwünschten Kindererfahrungen (ACE).

- Diejenigen, die mehr als vier schwierige Erfahrungen gemacht hatten, hatten enorme Schwierigkeiten, insbesondere wenn beide im Paar mehr als vier Schwierigkeiten hatten, sagt Per Kristiansson, Allgemeinmediziner und Forscher im Bereich öffentliche Gesundheit und Pflegewissenschaften an der Universität Uppsala.

Zu den Schwierigkeiten gehörten unter anderem ein hohes Maß an Stress, eine schlechte Selbsteinschätzung der Gesundheit, viele Angstzustände und Depressionen, Fettleibigkeit, schlechte Paarbeziehungen, ein niedriges Bildungsniveau und ein höherer Grad an Rauchen, sagt er.

- Darüber hinaus hat eine Frau mit ACE tendenziell auch einen Partner, der ACE ausgesetzt ist, sagt Per Kristiansson.

Kinder, die streiten und streiten – das kann Gründe haben

Kinder, die sich abweichend verhalten oder ernsthafte psychiatrische Probleme entwickeln, haben in vielen Fällen gute Gründe dafür, sagt Kjerstin Almqvist, Seniorprofessorin für medizinische Psychologie an der Universität Karlstad.

- Viele leben in schwierigen Lebensumständen, weil ihre Eltern schwerwiegende Probleme mit Drogenmissbrauch, Gewaltbereitschaft, psychischen Erkrankungen, Kriminalität oder Behinderung haben – oder weil die Kinder von äußeren Umständen betroffen sind, die große Belastungen mit sich bringen, zum Beispiel Krieg oder Mobbing.

Bild: Markus Spiske, Unsplash

Hier haben wir ein Paradoxon, sagt sie. Einerseits wissen wir, dass zwischen 5 und 15 Prozent der Kinder, die in Schweden aufwachsen, Gewalt ausgesetzt sind, Zeuge von Gewalt gegen einen Verwandten werden oder vernachlässigt werden, weil ein Elternteil eine schwere Sucht hat. Andererseits neigt das Personal in Vorschulen und Schulen dazu, zu denken, dass es auf das Kind selbst ankommt, wenn sie abweichende Kinder sehen, die vielleicht kämpfen und streiten.

- Dies führt dazu, dass wir Kindern nicht die richtigen Interventionen geben. Die Bemühungen seien zu schlimm, und wenn sie überhaupt kommen, dann oft zu spät, wenn der toxische Stress, dem die Kinder ausgesetzt waren, bereits Schaden angerichtet habe, sagt Kjerstin Almqvist.

„Wagen Sie es, Eltern nach Problemen zu fragen“

Viele Eltern leben mit Problemen, bei denen sie Hilfe bekommen könnten, wenn jemand auf strukturierte Weise nach ihren Problemen fragt, sagt Steven Lucas, Kinderarzt, der das Projekt BarnSäkert leitet, eine schwedische Adaption der amerikanischen Methode Safe Environment for Everyone Kid (SUCHEN).

Es begann als Forschungsprojekt an der Universität Uppsala und ist heute eine Arbeitsmethode für Kindergesundheitsfürsorge und präventive Aktivitäten sozialer Dienste in fünf Regionen: Dalarna, Gotland, Jönköping, Blekinge und Uppsala.

- Wir haben gesehen, dass es funktioniert. Eltern erzählen auf Nachfrage von extremem Erziehungsstress*, Depressionen und finanziellen Sorgen und können sich so Hilfe holen. Wir können Eltern zu einer besseren Situation verhelfen und so auch ihren Kindern eine bessere Situation ermöglichen.

Von elterlichem Stress spricht man, wenn die Elternschaft selbst einen Konflikt zwischen den Anforderungen an die Eltern und den eigenen Ressourcen der Eltern mit sich bringt.

- Manchmal gibt es einen gut funktionierenden Elternteil, der durchaus in der Lage ist, die Betreuung zu übernehmen, die das Kind braucht. Doch für die Kinder, die weiterhin in einer verletzlichen Situation leben, geht es in erster Linie darum, Schutz zu bieten, insbesondere wenn das Kind Misshandlungen und Missbrauch ausgesetzt ist. „Wir müssen besser darin werden, Sorgen über Kinder, denen es schlecht geht, an die Sozialdienste zu melden“, sagt Kjerstin Almqvist.

Wie sollen wir den gefährdeten Kindern helfen?

Es geht auch darum, die Risiken zu reduzieren. Eine Kontaktfamilie aufbauen, die das Kind sieht und ihm zuhört, damit das Kind versteht, dass „das nicht mein Problem ist, sondern meine Eltern“.

Wie verarbeiten Sie Ihre Kindheit?

Bei Kindern und Erwachsenen mit schwierigen Kindheitserlebnissen haben sich mehrere Behandlungsmethoden als wirksam erwiesen.

Für Kleinkinder bis 5-6 Jahre: CPP, Child Parent Psychotherapy, eine eindeutig bindungsbasierte Methode, die auf der Zusammenarbeit mit einem Elternteil oder einer anderen Bezugsperson und dem Kind basiert.

Für ältere Kinder: TF-CBT, traumafokussierte kognitive Verhaltenstherapie. Mehrere Gruppenmethoden haben ebenfalls gute Wirkung gezeigt.

Für Jugendliche: EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy. Besonders gut, wenn man die Eltern nicht einbeziehen kann oder will.

Für Erwachsene: Einschließlich Psychotherapien, die gezielt auf aufdringliche Erinnerungen eingehen, z. B. Prolonged Exposure, eine Methode innerhalb der kognitiven Verhaltenstherapie, aber auch psychodynamisch orientierte Therapien, bei denen es eher darum geht, die Fähigkeit zu engen und sicheren Beziehungen wiederherzustellen.

Contact us at samuelkubkub@gmail.com

Kind regards

Samuel Qu

2024.08.12

 

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