Six common sexual secrets partners hide from each other.

 

Six common sexual secrets partners hide from each other.

We probably share many of our sexual secrets with millions of other people. We cover the most common ones.

Sincerity is one of the cornerstones of a relationship. That being said, everyone keeps something to themselves, secrets that are sometimes harmful and sometimes harmless. This is often the case with sexual secrets. In these cases, they are usually embarrassing to the person hiding them.

But what makes an individual keep certain aspects of their sex life to themselves? In fact, sometimes they can even be harmless preferences that, if revealed, would help the person enjoy sex more with their partner.

In this article, we talk about the most common sexual secrets and the reasons behind them. Interestingly, they say a lot about today's sexual and social culture.

Common sexual secrets that partners hide

A study was conducted to map different types of sexual secrets and reasons why partners do not share them with each other. The researchers administered a questionnaire to 195 university students. They found differences between men and women, both regarding the types of secrets and the reasons for hiding them.

More than a third of the participants, more precisely 36 percent, claimed to have kept at least one sexual secret. But 55 percent also stated that they had revealed this secret to their partner at some point.

1. Having emotionally cheated on your partner

This secret was widespread among both men and women. No distinction was made between infidelity involving physical or purely emotional infidelity. In short, both sexes had experienced romantic feelings for people outside their relationships and concealed this from their partners.

2. A taste for BDSM

The term BDSM encompasses sexual preferences such as bondage, discipline and dominance, submission, sadism and masochism. It is a series of alternative sexual activities based on mutual consent that play with pain thresholds and involve dominance-submission.

The majority of people who showed interest in BDSM were women.

3. Consumption of pornography

Both men and women claimed to have consumed pornographic material. That being said, this activity is no longer as secretive as before. This is because certain pornography is beginning to be produced that is more consistent with values ​​such as respect and consent. Even so, it is still considered something shameful.

4. Having had a threesome

Here, men scored higher than women. In fact, they more often kept secret that they had sex with two people at the same time. In addition, in monogamous couples, a reluctance to ask partners if they want to experiment with this practice was often reported.

5. Interest in sex toys

Women scored highest when it came to sharing with their partner that they felt attracted to the use of sex toys. Usually, they first tried these items alone and then introduced them during sex with their partners.

In addition, women who liked sex toys reported greater satisfaction and self-awareness in the area of ​​sexuality.

6. The worst of these sexual secrets: episodes of abuse

This study revealed a painful fact: the secret at the top of the women's lists was the presence of sexual abuse in their lives. Going through an experience like this usually leaves a deep and traumatic mark on the victims, but it is also one of the least reported crimes. It seems that it is also not shared very often with partners, although they are there to support and understand.

Why do we have sexual secrets?

Why do people have sexual secrets in relationships? As part of this study, participants were also asked why they did not share their sexual secrets with their partners. The results were as follows:

Men kept certain types of information secret. For example, all infidelity and consumption of pornography for fear of provoking the partner's disapproval. They also reported that they did not want their secrets to affect their relationships or lead to breakups.

The women reported that they did not reveal their sexual secrets because they imagined that their partners would not understand. There were also other reasons, such as fear of revealing one's secrets and feelings of shame.

Many of the women who feared their secrets would be revealed had also at some point experienced public ridicule after revealing them. Furthermore, when they did tell others, it was usually to people close to them, such as friends, family members and ex-partners.

On the other hand, many people also reported positive experiences when they revealed their sexual secrets. Regarding sexual preferences, there were even men and women who said that they had enriched their relationships through their confessions. But there were also those who had experienced disapproval from their partners, had feelings of regret themselves, and even suffered crises in their relationships.

Interestingly, the areas of research opened up by this study converge with topics such as gender violence, sexual assault and social taboos regarding sexuality. The research also shows that the world is gradually becoming more open when it comes to talking about sexuality, an enriching activity.

The Sexual Secrets Men and Women Hide from Their Partners

Both men and women have sexual secrets, but they tend to hide different things.

Key points

Some people keep sexual secrets, but the types of secrets held and reasons for secrecy differ across gender.

Women are more likely to report keeping sex secrets because they don't think their partner would understand.

Men are more likely to report keeping sex secrets because they don't think their partner would approve of their behavior.

When people describe the traits they want in a romantic partner, honesty usually comes in near the top of the list. However, even though we want partners who will always tell us the truth, many of us hide things in our relationships, especially about our sex lives.

So how many people are keeping sex secrets? What are they hiding? And why are they keeping this information from their partners?

A recent study published in the journal Sexuality & Culture sought to find out. Researchers surveyed 195 college students about their sexual secrets. Participants completed a 39-item online survey about the number and type of sexual secrets they were holding, their reasons for hiding this information, and their previous experiences disclosing those secrets.

It turned out that more than one-third of participants (36%) said they held at least one sex secret in their current or most recent romantic relationship. However, more than half (55%) said they had revealed a sex secret to a partner at some point in the past.

Participants reported having secrets about a wide range of things; however, the types of secrets people held differed based on their gender. For women, the most common things they hid from their partners were: 1) history of sexual victimization, 2) having emotionally cheated on a significant other, 3) interest in BDSM, 4) pornography use, and 5) enjoyment of sex toys.

The most common things they hid for men included: 1) pornography use, 2) having previously had a threesome, and 3) having emotionally cheated on a significant other.

Men’s and women’s reasons for keeping sex secrets also differed. Specifically, women were more likely to report keeping secrets because they felt their partners would not understand; by contrast, men were more likely to keep secrets because they thought their partner would disapprove of their behavior. Given that men and women tended to hold different kinds of secrets, it makes sense that their motivations for hiding that information would differ.

Other reasons for keeping sex secrets included fearing that their partner would divulge the secret to others, being ashamed, and worrying that it would end the relationship.

When secrets were disclosed, this happened most commonly via a face-to-face discussion, followed by disclosure over phone or text message. However, some participants reported that their secrets were disclosed by others (including friends, family members, and exes), that they surfaced on social media, or were accidentally discovered while going through their partner’s things.

For the most part, people reported positive experiences when disclosing sex secrets, with many saying that their partner appreciated the disclosure and felt relieved. Although less common, some reported experiencing partner disapproval, feeling regret, and/or experiencing a breakup as a result.

Of course, these findings are limited in the sense that only US college students were studied. It is possible (and likely) that the kinds of sex secrets people hold (and their reasons for having them) may change with age. They may also vary considerably across cultural contexts.

That said, these findings suggest that it is not uncommon for people to keep sexual secrets in their relationships and that there are myriad reasons for holding certain information back. However, the fact that people reported more positive than negative experiences sharing their secrets suggests that there is often benefit and value in being honest about one’s sexual past.

Samuel Qu

if you want more information about sexology I have a book I can send you via my e-mail

samuelkubkub@gmail.com