Hatred Jealousy and envy Psychology and psychotherapy Destructive inner forces

 

Hatred

Jealousy and envy

Psychology and psychotherapy

Destructive inner forces

Jealousy and envy are closely related. In their benign forms, they result in demands for security, equality and justice.

Jealousy and jealousy easily turn into destructive forces in the service of hatred and kill love in a relationship.

If you give in to these forces in yourself or in your partner, the relationship inevitably turns into a joyless power game, where one becomes the loser and the other the winner. And it's a Pyrrhic victory! Then turning the boat right can be insurmountably difficult.

If you are aware that you harm others in this way and are prepared to struggle hard with your problems, you can get help from a qualified psychotherapy if you can tolerate your tendencies towards self-pity and self-absorption being challenged. It's about finding a therapist who can both understand your pain and confront your excuses and help you set limits on your behavior. So your situation does not have to be hopeless!

Absence of jealousy and envy

It is possible that saints never have to struggle with jealousy and envy.

When I have met people who claim to be free of these feelings, they have either lost touch with their inner self or have chosen a partner that he/she considers worthless. Someone who is assumed to have nothing to give or no one else wants. Behind such a life strategy of hopelessness lies an enormous amount of pain, which is actualized if the partner finally gets tired and meets someone else or dies.

As long as you can talk

If you experience jealousy or envy yourself, it can be your salvation to try to talk about it as your problem, a difficulty within yourself. The prerequisite is that your love has a core of authenticity and that you respect this.

Chances are your partner can understand these feelings in you and recognize them in themselves if you don't use them as a weapon! If you've started doing that, the time for conversation may be over, at least for a while.

If you can have a conversation with your partner, it can result in honest agreements about what demands you can place on each other and what consideration each is willing to take.

Moralism

Many try to hide in shame or deny to themselves their difficulties with jealousy and envy and that is the worst strategy. The feelings then usually grow in the dark and poison the relationship or one fateful day explode.

We are not angry about what we feel, but we are obliged to seek anger in our actions. It is totally pointless to moralize about feelings - such an approach makes it difficult for you to think clearly and prevents an open conversation.

Unconscious jealousy and envy

It is common for both jealousy and envy to be unconscious. This gives them free rein in a disguised form - often as an unpleasant and intrusive "care" for the partner and a masterful "truth-telling" or an insidious disparagement of your partner's good qualities and joys.

This can be very difficult to defend against in the long run.

When conversations derail

If you can't talk about your problem, you will probably try to control and dominate your partner, thus destroying his or her ability to respect and love you.

Love and friendship then become a power relationship. You are likely to be either abandoned or left to live with a subjugated slave unless your partner possesses unusual strength and generosity.

The partner as an asset

Many of us have a limited ability to really see another person and realize that both live on the same earth and have a life of their own. The partner is then regarded as a possession, a consumer product. Some people unfortunately confuse this with love.

Pathological jealousy

If you see your partner as a possession, the relationship for you will be filled with anxiety when your partner does not allow himself to be controlled or you only get a fantasy of such a thing.

At the beginning of a relationship, it can seem pleasant to be considered a possession. It's easy to misunderstand the situation and feel flattered by the attention. In the long run, however, it is eroding to play the role of status symbol, lifebuoy or narcotic.

Jealousy paranoia

The most destructive form of jealousy can take purely morbid forms and involves a compulsive and painful preoccupation with sexual fantasies with the partner in an important role. The solution to the problem appears to be to kill or disable the partner and/or the imagined or actual suitor.

The condition can be difficult to treat.

Exposed to jealousy and envy

If you agree to be controlled and dominated or to have your joys and interests devalued and begin to refrain from doing things you feel like doing in the hope that the situation will then improve, you are on a dangerous path. The solution is not to dress in sackcloth and ashes, stop seeing friends, withdraw from your family or give up your interests or career - the concessions are usually never enough! Instead, an unholy alliance is perpetuated.

If you are to succeed in the art of preserving your love, it is necessary to keep your boundaries with unwavering and friendly firmness and realize that your partner in this respect is not an adult equal person but more a terrified and despotic child with an adult's means of power.

Where does pathological jealousy come from?

All these events led to the behavior of families with their children and it comes from there.

For example, fathers and mothers who have sex in front of the children's eyes make them dangerous for the children's future, make them carry with them a completely pathological jealousy, quarrelsome thinking and unhealthy behavior and jealousy, and in the future it turns into violent behavior and suspicion, which called pathological jealousy. A person can be jealous of their husband, a husband can be jealous of his wife and eventually become violent. And even we have seen that if you understand one better than the other, the other will become jealous of you and try to destroy you.

there are many things that can be harmful for children to have sex in front of children, under the age of

to separate between children the family give love more to the one they favored and isolate other children,

there are many facts that can come in the future with proper writing.

i want to tell about myself i was 17 years old could get rid of jealousy also the envy when i read a book by karenhonray everyone is responsible for their body no one can own others could read the whole book several times as well as my mother was a feminist she said lots of good things said never be jealous of your girl she decides about herself and you decide about yourself so if she would have sexual relations with other guys you don't have the right to ask her why she did because she is a human being just like you no one can decide over others so I trained for several months then got rid of sometimes we had fixed could have close contacts with other girls also my girl had the same with other guys then became completely normal for me since we are people first and foremost since we can decide over themselves not others.

with kind regards

Samuel Qu