Christmas Depression: When Christmas doesn't bring happiness.
Feeling lonely, sad, nostalgic or irritable are some of the symptoms of what is commonly known as Christmas depression. Read more.
Christmas is fast approaching. The streets are already filled with lights and decorations adorn every corner, every shop window and every window. A festive atmosphere prevails. The restaurants serve Christmas dinners. The rolls of wrapping paper are running low. It's such a special time of year that you feel you have to enjoy it! But for many it is a time charged with nostalgia, loneliness and negative emotions. Keep reading to learn more about Christmas depression.
Christmas has always been surrounded by a halo of happiness and illusion. Bonds such as family, love and reuniting with old friends are exalted. But not everyone experiences Christmas with the same joy. According to reports, up to 65% of us may experience stress, anxiety or depressive symptoms during this festive season, a phenomenon known as Christmas depression. Despite the name, it is not a mental condition but refers to normal feelings within a context that remind us of painful realities we experience or that we have experienced in the past.
As was the case with the Grinch, there are many people who experience more negative than positive emotions during this holiday season. Melancholy, disinterest, apathy, anxiety, stress, feeling overwhelmed or in a bad mood are some of the companions that we can find at this time of year.
Why does Christmas depression occur?
You may simply be a person who has never liked this holiday, which is completely legitimate. However, there are a number of factors that can trigger so-called Christmas depression and condition us this part of the year.
The loss of a loved one is another reason why Christmas is often filled with nostalgia. It's what's called empty chair syndrome. When a loved one has left us, grief can be accentuated on certain dates as the absence of that person becomes harder to ignore, making the holiday hard to bear.
Having family conflicts can change our mood and make us more irritable and moody. And according to tradition, Christmas is a holiday where we are expected to be gathered around a table with our relatives. But it's not always safe ties that we feel comfortable with. Knowing that you will experience uncomfortable moments leads to frustration and anger. Dealing with these conflicts and emotions accentuates the discomfort of Christmas.
Many state that they feel more stressed and worried during Christmas. This is a holiday when we need to be organized. Buying gifts, dividing your time, deciding who to spend each day with, planning the menus, decorating the home, traveling if you have to, or turning and twisting every penny, are tasks that are added to our normal routine. This overload and this change in routine means that we start the new year exhausted. In other words, we cannot by any means fulfill one of the purposes of Christmas: Rest.
Loneliness is the big Achilles heel of Christmas. It is a social holiday and we also have a great expectation of spending it in company. Being alone and having no one to celebrate with makes us sad when we realize that the social network we want doesn't match the one we have. This happens above all when our loneliness is not something we have chosen, but something imposed. Many older people experience this situation.
How to avoid it?
There are many ways to deal with Christmas depression. First, it is important not to fight against your feelings and to normalize the grief. Sharing your emotional world with people you trust will make you feel supported and comforted.
At the same time, we can transform nostalgia by giving it a positive approach. To remember the good times with the person we miss. There is no need to hide the empty chair – we can continue to make it part of our celebration and incorporate it in a symbolic way.
Finding a balance between your own and other people's needs is recommended. Some situations can make us feel a little uncomfortable because of the expectations, confrontations or demands that they may involve. Therefore, it is important to find a space where this discomfort is manageable.
Plants die of drowning if we water them too much, while on the contrary they die of dehydration if we never water them. Recognizing the needs of our relationships and what we need can guide us in this search for balance.
If we decide to adapt the routine to be able to handle all that Christmas brings, we need to measure the demands we make on ourselves. Everything doesn't have to be perfect and we shouldn't put all the responsibility on ourselves. Lowering expectations and distributing tasks is a good buffer against stress.
One possibility to help us live with these feelings is to try to create and seek spaces for self-care. For example, organizing a day focused on meeting needs, trying to share tasks with other people and slowing down during this holiday. Focusing on what is valuable to you and managing to find those moments despite the suffering won't make the pain go away, but it can give it new meaning.
I wish to find those who can't buy things during Christmas Eve and be able to help so my heart becomes happy.
Why do so much people feel so depressed around Christmas?
For people who love their family but are far away, the holidays can be heartbreaking. Being lonely can make people isolate themselves, causing a vicious circle of loneliness and depression. You might long for your family, so resist the urge to hunker down alone at home. Get out every day.
Why do people not feel happy on Christmas?
If you live in the Northern Hemisphere where winter and the holidays coincide, you may find that the season in general makes you more depressed. This is called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, and is usually caused by a lack of vitamin D (due to decreased sunshine) and a drop in the brain's serotonin production
Why is my anxiety so bad around Christmas? Public spaces with more noise, lights, smells and long queues than usual, which can be overwhelming. Worries about getting sick or feeling pressure to be around others when you don't want to. Expectations about food and alcohol. This may include pressure to eat and drink things you don't want to, or can't.
How do you get over Christmas disappointment?
12 Steps to Avoid Disappointment this Holiday Season.
Identify your main thing. ...
Slow down. ...
Realize perfection is not possible. ...
Don't push your expectations on to others. ...
Make room for rest. ...
Offer forgiveness quickly. ...
Remember memories are made in the mistakes. ...
Realize the meaning is in the giving, not the gift.
12 Steps to Avoid Disappointment this Holiday Season
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
The holidays can be a most wonderful time of year. The season is often marked with family, tradition, and giving. And no matter our age, it stirs up fond memories and creates new ones. The holidays can indeed bring out the best in all of us.
But despite all the hope and preparation, often times, holiday expectations go unmet. Meals don’t turn out right. Kids get crabby. Family members bicker. Gifts are not received as fondly as we expected. And before we know it, shades of disappointment begin to creep in as we realize the season will not measure up to the pictures we had in our mind.
As we enter this final stretch before the holiday, is it possible to avoid this disappointment during the season? Of course it is. But it often takes some intentional steps on our part. Consider these:
12 Steps to Avoid Disappointment this Holiday Season.
1. Identify your main thing.
From food and decoration to presents and parties, the December is full of opportunity. But there is a very fine line between opportunity and distraction. Determine the main thing you want the season to represent. It may be based on religion, family, or rest. Whatever you decide, keep your main thing in sharp focus first.
2. Slow down.
Peace is rarely found in adding commitments and errands. So cut a few—on purpose.
3. Realize perfection is not possible.
Travel gets disrupted. Houses get messy. Kids want more presents. Family members bicker. This is life. And unless you are part of a magazine photo shoot, perfection is simply not possible. Stop expecting it.
4. Don’t push your expectations on to others.
We all have different expectations of how Christmas should be. Often times, these expectations are based on childhood memories. But we all have different childhood memories… so don’t assume everyone expects Christmas to look the same as you do. I’m all for developing traditions. But I’m against thinking everyone expects my traditions to become theirs.
5. Make room for rest.
Take a nap, retire to bed early one evening, or find a morning to sleep in later than normal. Running ragged to make everything perfect rarely results in perfection. Instead, it results in snippy attitudes, short tempers, and runny noses.
6. Offer forgiveness quickly.
People make mistakes. Be quick to offer forgiveness and mend broken relationships—whether the offense occurs today or happened many years ago. Take the step. Because holding on to ill-feelings towards another is one of the greatest sources of disappointment in life (and the holidays).
7. Remember memories are made in the mistakes.
Some of my fondest Christmas memories center on the mishaps that have occurred over the years: getting left at a department store with my cousin, discovering a Christmas gift early, my grandmother wrapping the gifts but forgetting to mark who they were for. These mishaps make me smile even today… we should also learn to smile when they are unfolding right in front of us.
8. Realize the meaning is in the giving, not the gift.
You won’t get everything you want this Christmas and conversely, you will get some things you don’t want. Put less emphasis on the gift in the wrapping. And put more emphasis on the fact that somebody thought you were special this holiday season. The gift is not the gift. The true gift is the giving… and the giver.
9. Admit you can’t change others.
We can set bold examples. We can look for teachable moments. We can offer advice when appropriate. But we can’t make decisions for others. They are going to choose options for their life we wish they wouldn’t. In those moments, remind yourself that you weren’t called to live their life, you were called to live your own.
10. Know when to stop.
From over-eating to over-drinking, knowing when to stop quickly becomes a lost art during the holiday season. But too much of a good thing quickly turns into a bad thing with lasting consequences. In almost every regard, for maximum enjoyment, embrace moderation.
11. Stay within your budget.
Avoid holiday disappointment by celebrating it within your means. This pertains to the number and extravagance of gifts. But should also extend to travel, celebration, and entertainment.
12. Embrace spirituality.
Regardless of your religious (or non-religious) preference, there is much more to this world than the things we see. Embrace spirituality this holiday season by championing love, hope, forgiveness, and grace. Rather than losing yourself in the hustle and bustle, find intentionality in remembering the heart of Christmas and celebrating the soul of everything good.
Is it normal to not be excited for Christmas?
So if you're struggling to feel festive this Christmas, try not to beat yourself up about it. Not feeling merry, positive and upbeat isn't some kind of failure – it's a completely normal response to the circumstances we've faced over the last nine months.
Therefore, it is a type of learning that must be implemented in these days and planned for the coming years.
Samuel Qu
Samuel.ku35@gmail.com
0046735501680
0 Comments