How to deal with ghosting.

 

How to deal with ghosting.

Many people seek psychological help because they cannot overcome a ghosting experience. These are traumatic wounds that require special forms of treatment.

Dealing with ghosting is not always easy. In fact, leaving someone abruptly, without any explanation, has become a common phenomenon today. In addition, it sometimes has traumatic effects. After all, as humans we need to connect and build strong bonds. This really affects our psychological well-being to a great extent.

A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships emphasizes the fact that as humans we have the basic need to belong. It affects our self-esteem, sense of control and the development of a more meaningful life. If this fails, it causes parts of us to collapse. This often motivates us to seek specialized help.

If you're struggling to overcome the experience of being ghosted, we have some strategies to help. Read on!

A person who has been ghosted may spend years wondering why they were abandoned without any explanation.

Ghosting

Ghosting is a term that describes a situation where an individual ends a relationship without giving any explanation or offering an opportunity for a good ending. Although the term is new, these types of experiences are not. Breaking an emotional bond without clear communication is actually a common phenomenon.

Moreover, thanks to new technology and the virtual universe, this dysfunctional dynamic has increased in scope. You only need to ignore all messages and unfriend on social media to brutally leave someone else's life.'

An article written by the University of Vienna in Austria shows that ghosting also occurs in friendships, although scientific literature tends to focus on romantic relationships. It emphasizes that being ghosted is experienced in a more painful way than a direct and reasoned rejection. This is because the brain cannot tolerate what remains in limbo or what it does not understand.

How do you know if you need specialized help?

Emotionally irresponsible behaviors have always existed. However, technology has articulated other methods of relating and creating ties, and also of breaking them. It was the philosopher and sociologist Zygmunt Bauman who spoke about the current prevalence of fluid relationships and weak ties.

It is true that fragile relationships seem to be increasingly common in society today. But not all people are equally affected when they experience ghosting. There are those who manage to overcome it and others who end up in an intense and prolonged pattern of emotional grief. This is when psychological help is needed.

The Erasmus University in Rotterdam in the Netherlands conducted a study of ghosting experiences among app daters. They discovered that ghosting is not always done with malicious or deliberate intentions. Although the consequences are undoubtedly huge and there is a direct impact on the mental health of the sufferer.

Therefore, you should not be ashamed or feel uncomfortable if you find yourself in this type of experience. You are not the only one. Below we will go through what usually happens when you are ghosted.

People who experience ghosting in an extremely traumatic way can benefit from acceptance and commitment therapy.

What happens when you struggle to deal with ghosting?

You feel increasingly irritated.

Your emotional pain is constant.

Your self-esteem is low.

You keep asking yourself what you did wrong.

You feel sad and discouraged.

You often question and criticize yourself.

You are afraid of being rejected by other people you meet.

It is difficult for you to trust others.

The memory of the ghosting takes up a lot of your time.

You avoid making new friends or meeting potential partners.

You can't stop checking your ghostare's social media.

You feel a tremendous emotional turmoil that won't go away.

Your emotional pain has lasted more than six months.

Psychological treatments to deal with ghosting

If you decide to take the plunge and go to therapy to overcome your ghosting experience, you must first go through an evaluation. The psychologist will collect information from you in order to make a correct diagnosis. For example, you may also suffer from depression or post-traumatic stress.

A research study carried out by the Universidad de Castilla – La Mancha in Spain shows that in these situations there is a frequent psychological experience of ostracism. It is a phenomenon that involves feelings of loneliness, depression and helplessness. It requires an appropriate therapeutic approach. The most useful therapies are the following:

Acceptance and commitment therapy

If you have endured the emotional discomfort of ghosting for some time, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can help.

As shown in a meta-analysis published in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, ACT is an effective approach that can reduce suffering and address various psychological conditions. When it comes to dealing with ghosting, it can help you in the following ways:

You commit to change. In addition, you strive to improve your well-being.

You work with your values ​​to set new important goals.

You accept what happened. In addition, you leave room for your negative emotions and learn how to deal with them.

You apply cognitive defusion to promote a more flexible and healthy mental approach.

You use mindfulness. It means focusing on the present and not being swept away by the past, one's difficult feelings and negative thoughts.

You understand that everything that has happened to you is part of a context. It's not your fault, but you have to learn to live with it.

To deal with ghosting you have to accept what happened, focus on yourself and set new life goals.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a model used to alleviate emotional grief and can also help us deal with ghosting. It has a broad repertoire based on the following pillars:

Emotional validation and strengthening of your self-esteem.

Prevention of relapse. It also offers you tools to face future difficulties on your own.

It guides you to change your behavior in a healthier direction that allows you to reduce your suffering.

Emotional regulation. It provides you with strategies to deal with your discomfort, difficult feelings, and anxiety associated with your ghosting experience.

Cognitive restructuring. You will learn to identify and modify your negative and distorted thought patterns linked to your ghosting experience.

Techniques for solving problems. If you are stuck in your feelings of sadness, you may have stopped facing the most fundamental challenges. CBT allows you to empower yourself in this regard.

Emotion-focused therapy

Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) is an approach developed by humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers and later improved by Leslie Greenberg and other therapists. This model will help you overcome ghosting thanks to the resources it offers to manage the grieving process and better deal with your discomfort. With this therapy you will:

Learn emotional regulation techniques.

Promote reflection to make sense of your experiences.

Facilitate emotional transformation and promote greater well-being.

Deal with states such as anger, guilt, sadness or shame associated with your experience.

Thanks to these resources, you will be able to develop a new stage of life without discomfort and suffering. You will no longer wonder why your ghoster left you. Instead, you will focus on what you live for. The answer lies in working on your happiness and well-being and overcoming the pain you've endured.

One final recommendation for dealing with ghosting

Not everyone who goes through the experience of ghosting needs help. Furthermore, there are those who suffer the consequences in silence. In fact, many people do not take the step to seek help because they simply hope that time will heal the wound.

But time, on the contrary, will only make the wound even bigger. Therefore, do not hesitate to consult a specialist. After all, you deserve to recover and get on with your life without worry.

How to deal with someone who ghosts you?

Stay Calm and Composed: Responding with anger or frustration is understandable, but it may not lead to a productive conversation. Try to keep your tone neutral and avoid emotional escalation. Ask Questions: If you're open to it, ask why they ghosted you and why they are reaching out now.

What to say when being ghosted?

You want to give the other person the open opportunity to explain, should they want to. Say something like ``Hi! It's been a while since we've talked, and I care about you. If there's anything on your mind that's bothering you, I wholeheartedly am willing to listen.

How to end a ghosting?

Reach Out: Send a message or call the person you ghosted. Acknowledge the gap in communication and express your desire to reconnect. Be honest about your feelings. Apologize: Offer a sincere apology for ghosting. It's important to take responsibility for your actions without making excuses.

How to feel better after ghosting?

How to get over being ghosted

1.) Don't make it about you. ...

Set healthy boundaries. Block them on your social media. ...

Don't blame yourself. Don't make their ghosting about you. ...

Stop wasting your energy. ...

Increase your self-care. ...

Spend time with family and friends. ...

Seek professional help. ...

Looking to live more intentionally?

Should I text after being ghosted?

What to Text After Being Ghosted: 10 Expert-Approved Responses

Overwhelmingly, all the experts we consulted recommend not texting anything after being ghosted. We know! It's hard. Sending a message is just not worth your time or energy, especially since you can't control the response.3

How to respond to soft ghosting?

If you find yourself caught in a soft ghosting situation, confront the issue. Get them on the phone or in person and ask them if they want to continue the relationship. Tell them you've noticed them pulling away and would appreciate their honesty.

How many days of no contact is ghosting?

No specific time frame universally defines ghosting, as it can occur after just a few days of no contact or after longer periods. It's essential to remember that each relationship is unique, and what constitutes ghosting can differ from one situation to another.

Do ghosters feel guilty?

Ghosters often experienced mixed and evolving feelings as a result of their actions. Some initially felt happy and relieved but later developed negative emotions such as guilt. Others felt bad initially, and then grew to be happy with their actions, feeling that the end justified the means.

What to text a ghoster for closure?

11 Texts to Send a Ghoster for Closure

Let them know how you feel, and they might just realize ghosting you hurts more than having a break-up conversation.

“I wish you would've just talked to me before disappearing.”

“Getting ghosted hurts more than saying we're breaking up.”

“This relationship had to end, but I wish we could've said goodbye.

What not to do after being ghosted?

8 Tips For Ghosting Recovery

Realize that no response is a response. ...

Reframe the ghosting: Try not to take it personally. ...

Avoid the temptation to generalize future relationship outcomes. ...

Use mindfulness and self-compassion to heal. ...

Seek experiences with people that love and accept you for who you are. ...

Set boundaries.

How long does ghosting usually last?

If they stop communicating with you completely without a word despite your follow-ups, it's ghosting. As far as how long to wait before moving on and assuming the ghost is officially gone, it depends. "If it is someone you recently met, it can be two weeks before it's time to move on.

Why is getting ghosted so painful?

Being Ghosted: Why It Happens and How to Cope

"Ghosting carries an echo of old rejection," says Meredith Gordon Resnick, LCSW. "It's painful because it activates—and emulates—a previous hurt or betrayal by someone we didn't just think we could trust but whom we had to trust, often during our formative years.

Tips to handle being ghosted

Face reality. It looks like this person isn't giving you what you need. ...

Allow your feelings. No matter what you feel, it's all valid. ...

Amp up your self-care. ...

Avoid dwelling. ...

Don't contact them. ...

Talk with someone. ...

Don't isolate yourself.

What happens when you ignore a ghoster?

Why Do Ghosters Come Back?

In some cases, ignoring a ghoster may result in them eventually giving up on trying to reconnect as they may interpret your lack of response as a lack of interest and move on. On the other hand, some ghosters may interpret your silence as a challenge and may persist in their attempts to contact you.

What does ghosting say about a person?

Ghosting shows a lack of consideration for the other person's emotions and well-being. It can be hurtful and confusing and can make others feel disregarded, devalued, and hurt. Healthy relationships are built on respect and consideration for one another.

Sincerely, Samuel Kermashahi

samuel.ku35@gmail.com