Relationships Building friendship and love Psychotherapy as an option

 

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Relationships Building friendship and love

Psychotherapy as an option

Researchers present: Children's and young people's relationships with significant adults. Sports leader, teacher, leisure leader. Meeting an adult in everyday life who sees and confirms, who shows a personal interest in the child or young person, can have a decisive importance for self-concept and well-being.

Love and friendship require cooperation and responsibility

In close relationships, our willingness to be there for the other, honestly share ourselves, and our ability to understand and forgive our partner and ourselves are tested. Cooperation and sacrifices are necessary - it is important to make clear to yourself what it is you want to build together.

In the first place, my idea is that all people from the age of 18 are free and they should decide what they want to do and what not to do. They can try their life and move on until they find the one that suits their life. Sometimes people who were uneducated and have zero ideas about democracy and freedom can end up in difficult situations that can cause psychological crisis. It mostly happens with the young people who don't have experience about life so it takes time so they would learn about life it's called the process of life so the young people go through and learn about life, no matter how many theorists there would be it doesn't help the young people learn through practical area what exists in reality.

When a relationship is broken then psychiatry can't help a single thing that you can do so that everyone goes their own way so that they don't get headaches in the future, when a heart gets hurt so it's hard to heal. My ideas it is best that everyone separates so things can get better.

It is important to refrain from letting yourself be guided by emotional impulses and short-term thinking in the face of the difficulties that inevitably arise. It's about protecting your partner from your bad sides. If you are unable to do this, psychotherapy can help you to become more mature. But we must not forget one thing if a person does not want to cooperate with the psychiatrist so it becomes more difficult for the person to be able to get help what makes the person mature so that the person can cooperate and willing to do it so as to develop.

Love and friendship are not primarily a feeling but the result of an effort to keep a promise to respect and meet the other's emotional needs and refrain from what hurts or angers.

Faithfulness requires an inner moral struggle.

To promise nothing in order to avoid responsibility is a fraud both against yourself and the other person.

If you are not willing to let this permeate your psychology, no psychotherapy in the world can help you. If the same is not true of your partner, you have a real problem - you simply have no one to cooperate with and have to take responsibility for the relationship alone.

The pitfalls of love

Infatuation or something similar to it can be a sweet start to a love affair or a friendship and can mature into a lifelong relationship. In falling in love, we find ourselves back to the playfulness, sincerity and spontaneity of childhood.

In this way, we are faced with the challenge of getting a new chance to mature. We must do away with the illusion that unconditional love between adults is possible. If we fail at that task, we lose what love gave us and become a demanding burden for our partner.

We risk becoming childish in a less attractive way when faced with difficulties. There is a risk that we are infantilized. Most of us also become childishly dependent, vulnerable, selfishly demanding and ruthless in our pursuit of instant gratification and total attention. Adult love and friendship require two independent people who freely choose to be interdependent and to cooperate to create a good life for both parties.

Partner choice

Falling in love can also make our judgment childish - we are simply not mature enough when choosing life partners and friends.

Unconsciously, we can choose partners based on obscure motives. We can choose someone who we think we can defeat, master and control, someone who we think we can lose without grief, someone who resembles a parent, someone who we will take care of like a child or be taken care of ourselves. When the spell of love wears off, we stand there wondering what happened and feel cheated. The frog did not become a prince. Dependence on the other becomes a shackle. We may grow apart and find ourselves repeating the same mistakes.

Cold, self-absorbed, despotic and cruel people easily find a partner by using well-balanced episodes of loving behavior to charm someone with an emotionally barren background.

There are among women and men many of both parties suffer from Pathological Jealousy, when this Pathological Jealousy grows in people then it can become harmful to live with such people. Sparing is the best.

It is better to separate than get into a problem with internal conflicts and wrong arguments that will be more harmful to health.

Cultural problems that are better known as backward culture in the Middle East, it is very difficult for them to be able to respect women's rights and let the girls move freely when the girls become mature 18 years up this culture is undeveloped culture that the religion says first word about women, we call this religion as anti women.

If you get into one unhappy relationship after another where you are not seen and appreciated, downright despised and beaten or if you do not dare to get into a relationship at all, it may be the consequences of never being seen as a child you are, not having been met in your world but constantly told that the thoughts and feelings of others were the only thing that counted.

Difficult to think clearly

We enter our relationships with the best intentions on the conscious plane. However, divorces are legion and often bitter. Hate, envy and sour suspicion can threaten to take over and we retreat like wounded virgins with a hard-fought belief that it's all the other person's fault or that hopefully the grass is greener somewhere else.

Strikingly often, we find it difficult to think clearly about our relationships and our feelings, the thoughts just spin around and lock themselves - turning into lines in a frozen language game. We do not want to admit that it is we ourselves who give in to envy, hatred, laziness or greed. Or that we chose someone we find unacceptable with our adult judgement.

Withdrawal or war seem to be the only solutions. It is the other person who has to change, we say both to ourselves and to our partner.

We see each other dimly as in a mirror.

To kill love

Even with a good foundation for the relationship, unconscious forces can put a damper on what otherwise had good conditions.

Hjalmar Söderberg writes in Doktor Glas: "You want to be loved, if not admired, if not feared, if not loathed and despised. You want to give people some kind of feeling. The soul trembles before the void and wants contact at any price ."

Many of us tend to kill the love within us when the dependency becomes too evident and when we discover the flaws and inability of the other to love us unconditionally all the time. We are more inclined to be loved than to love.

We tell ourselves that our own lack of love is the other person's fault and that he or she is not worthy of love. We bet on being feared or loathed. The partner may respond with the same coin. It can go so far that we end up finding ourselves married to our worst enemy.

When we are threatened by the realization of life's impermanence, we devalue our partner and demand a new chance at life.

If we seek help from a good friend, it is often primarily to seek an ally against our partner. We thereby put the friend before a difficult trial. It takes both courage, kindness and tact from the person we turn to and humility from ourselves to be able to accept help.

Envy

Unconscious envy plays a large role in the destruction of many relationships. We don't like to admit our envy even to ourselves.

Based on unconscious envy, we devalue and fight against our partner and his joys, abilities, friends and opportunities until the partner feels his life eroded by the relationship and becomes tired.

Our ability to find legitimate explanations for our behavior is almost inexhaustible - we "know" we are right in our campaigns.

Jealousy

Many relationships are severely disrupted by one party engaging in sexual fantasies with the partner as the protagonist accompanied by dramatic performances and accusations against the partner, controlling behavior and distressing interrogations.

Behind it lies an abysmal insecurity and pain from which the partner is excluded while he/she may feel urged to really go to someone else.

Infidelity

Many expect fidelity to be something easy - especially for the partner!

Infidelity often occurs at some point even in stable, long-term and good relationships. The background is sometimes complicated beneath the surface, and a common preoccupation of the prejudiced party is to be able to understand the one who has been unfaithful. The latter is not always on the same page and may not want to reflect on what happened.

Sometimes it is a matter of one meeting someone in whom he or she becomes truly interested and who offers an existential choice and an alternative future. The relationship is shaken to its foundations. If the person who met another chooses to stay, a lot of good can come out of what happened if the worry and pain are given space and opportunity to settle down.

Often, however, infidelity is something more trivial, like a tacit intervention in a seemingly hopeless quarrel or a power struggle where there may be an unconscious intention that the infidelity should be discovered and have an effect. Infidelity is then a means of getting access to the partner. However, the result is rarely successful.

Self-sufficiency is a common motive for having casual relationships. You want to prove to yourself that you are not really dependent and that everyone is replaceable.

Reluctance to recognize that life involves trials and that all relationships require wholehearted effort is also behind many infidelities. You simply think you have the right to have an easy life.

Some look for proof that the problems they have with their partner are entirely the other person's fault by searching for wonderful alternatives.

Resignation is ultimately behind many joyless and repeated infidelities.

Divorce

Dreams are shattered and promises are broken. Marital problems can become overwhelming. Couples therapy and marriage counseling do not always help keep a couple together.

It has long been politically correct to look lightly on divorce and to rely on research that claims that children are not harmed when parents fail to keep their promises to each other. Some believe that they will escape the problem by simply being cohabitants.

It seems especially common among us men to underestimate the consequences of separation - yes, we like to believe that neither we nor our partner can be truly dependent, other than financially.

Reality is not politically correct. Many people find it very difficult to recover after a divorce and lose their footing, even those who thought that life would play out if they just got rid of their partner. Instead, a wound can be opened that hardly heals in one and a heavy burden of conscience is imposed on the other.

Children suffer from not having access to both parents and are forced to mature prematurely.

when it comes to relationships so one should follow all the principles of relationship, cooperation at home share all pleasing with their partners, when a woman lives down a man she likes him and he should do the same and like each other, for more information contact me via samuelkubkub@gmail.com so you can get a book called sexology and love and relationships

Sincerely Samuel Qu